In light of some really thoughtful, hard conversations going on in the children’s literature world about representation, I was thinking about a manuscript I’d started but never finished.
I loved the characters. The world I had begun to create had lots of story elements that I both love reading about and writing about. It is a YA retelling at its heart but has unique elements that I thought would make it stand out. I completed over 50,000 word on it for National Novel Writing Month (quite a few years ago). My critique group liked the bits they saw of it. I adore the story, and the plot had really started to come together in my mind. I did quite a bit of research for it. But I never finished it.
I thought it was because I couldn’t find the right character to tell the story. I played around with having a different point-of-view character. I played around with multiple points of view. I rewrote the beginning and tried it in third person instead of first. Yet I could never quite figure out how to tell the story. So I put it away. I had intentions of maybe coming back to it someday when I was a better writer who could maybe find the right voice.
But now, I don’t think I’m going to come back to it. I think I now know why I was having so much trouble trying to figure out how to tell that story. It’s not because I don’t think I could write it and write it well. And it’s not because I don’t think it would make for a good story. In fact, I think it would make a really great story, one I’d love to read some day. But I’m not going to write it.
One of the things that we as storytellers need to be asking ourselves, beyond if we can write a story and write it well, is should we be writing a story. I couldn’t find the right way to tell this particular story–as much as I love the idea of it–because it’s not my story to tell. It deals with cultures and characters who would probably not be best served with me doing the telling. I can (and have) visit the place where my story takes place and research the culture, but I’m not part of it, so the story would suffer for it. It could end up being harmful in its representation.
Maybe I’ll come back to the basic idea of doing a retelling of the tale that inspired the original idea, but with a totally different spin to it, one that I am more equipped to tell. And I have plenty of other ideas floating around in my head and notebooks that I certainly am not lacking for new stories to write.
Of course, it hurts a little to put this manuscript to rest. I’ve put a lot of work into it, and I want to be able to tell it. I won’t, though. And I’m okay with that.
I really respect this decision. I don’t know the specifics of this story, perhaps you could one day revisit and make up a culture to frame it in that will mimic the original idea and not make you feel uncomfortable. I LOVE Girl of Fire and Thorns. That made up culture is beautiful! Anyway, I really, really understand where you’re coming from. I would love to write a diverse book, but I don’t feel I could write it well. So, I’ve settled for reading them.
Maybe this will be a story to tell one day in a different way, but I just can’t imagine it any other way right now…at least not in a way that wouldn’t feel like appropriation. It’ll be there if I ever do decide to revisit it.
I love the Girl of Fire and Thorns series as well.
Wow, Katie. I don’t know what to say. As a storyteller, I think you have the right to tell the story you burn to tell, naysayers aside. I’ve read many stories written by the *other* and I am thankful for them. I’m sure some people have criticized them for writing outside their culture or experience, but I’d be so much poorer without those stories. I think what’s important is to love the story you want to tell and the others about whom you wish to tell. After all, that’s what storytellers do–put themselves in other’s shoes.
I appreciate your thoughts, Vijaya. I agree that as writers we can write outside of our own experiences and cultures, and I’ve certainly enjoyed stories written by writers who weren’t writing from their own experiences. I think, though, as we examine who is represented in children’s literature and who is bringing that representation to the readers, it’s important to examine our desires to write outside our culture or race. With limited spaces at the table for books with characters from many marginalized backgrounds, I think it would be wrong for me to try and take up one of those spaces. I was having a hard time telling this story because it’s not mine to tell, not in this way I’ve imagined it with these particular characters. In a way, it was a relief to figure that out because it didn’t mean I was a bad writer for not being able to figure out how to tell this story.
I can imagine this was a really tough decision to make. But I respect your decision a ton. It’s not easy writing another culture and getting it “right” (and I’m not sure it always has to be totally 100% perfect representation), but if you’re feeling like it’s not your story to tell, then your gut is probably steering you in the right direction, as tough as it may be. Hopefully someday you’ll have a muse-moment that gives you a great way to spin the story in a different way 🙂 Hugs and happy writing!!
Thanks so much, Meradeth! Maybe the muse will steer me back in the direction of this story again one day. Hugs!
Personally, I think if you tell the story it is your to tell. Great FICTION is made coming from what we know and going to faraway places and spaces.
I think great fiction can take you many places, made up or based on real ones, and can be about people that are not like the author. I certainly haven’t limited my writings to be only things I know personally (I write fantasy after all!), but I think when dealing with cultures of real people, it’s important to consider whether or not it is your story to tell.