In light of some really thoughtful, hard conversations going on in the children’s literature world about representation, I was thinking about a manuscript I’d started but never finished.
I loved the characters. The world I had begun to create had lots of story elements that I both love reading about and writing about. It is a YA retelling at its heart but has unique elements that I thought would make it stand out. I completed over 50,000 word on it for National Novel Writing Month (quite a few years ago). My critique group liked the bits they saw of it. I adore the story, and the plot had really started to come together in my mind. I did quite a bit of research for it. But I never finished it.
I thought it was because I couldn’t find the right character to tell the story. I played around with having a different point-of-view character. I played around with multiple points of view. I rewrote the beginning and tried it in third person instead of first. Yet I could never quite figure out how to tell the story. So I put it away. I had intentions of maybe coming back to it someday when I was a better writer who could maybe find the right voice.
But now, I don’t think I’m going to come back to it. I think I now know why I was having so much trouble trying to figure out how to tell that story. It’s not because I don’t think I could write it and write it well. And it’s not because I don’t think it would make for a good story. In fact, I think it would make a really great story, one I’d love to read some day. But I’m not going to write it.
One of the things that we as storytellers need to be asking ourselves, beyond if we can write a story and write it well, is should we be writing a story. I couldn’t find the right way to tell this particular story–as much as I love the idea of it–because it’s not my story to tell. It deals with cultures and characters who would probably not be best served with me doing the telling. I can (and have) visit the place where my story takes place and research the culture, but I’m not part of it, so the story would suffer for it. It could end up being harmful in its representation.
Maybe I’ll come back to the basic idea of doing a retelling of the tale that inspired the original idea, but with a totally different spin to it, one that I am more equipped to tell. And I have plenty of other ideas floating around in my head and notebooks that I certainly am not lacking for new stories to write.
Of course, it hurts a little to put this manuscript to rest. I’ve put a lot of work into it, and I want to be able to tell it. I won’t, though. And I’m okay with that.
