Tag: Parenting (Page 2 of 3)

October #InkRipples: Writing Is My Career(ish)

October 23, 2017 / Katie L. Carroll

This month’s #Inkripples of career vs. hobby had me scratching my head. Is my writing a career or a hobby? I’m not sure. I think somewhere in between. Here’s my dilemma: I’m a stay-at-home parent who also works on the side. So family stuff is the first priority, but my main “work” (quotes because raising kids is work in and of itself, but let’s say for this post, it means something not having to do with the kiddos) right now is writing, with a little freelance editing on the side.

But I am not financially independent right now (I have a mini panic attack every time I think too hard about this fact). I depend on my husband’s job to pay the bills, for health insurance, and to make sure my kids are fed. My husband and I made the decision to become a one-income family after lots of thought and careful consideration of whether or not we could make it work financially.

The question remains whether or not writing will become my career once the kids are bigger and I go back to work. I really have no desire to go back to an office job like I had before kids (I was a puzzle magazine editor…I certainly didn’t hate the job, but after doing it for 8 years, it became tedious). And I wand to have the flexibility to be able to support my kids as they grow because even big kids will require my time. I’m not sure I want to commit full-time to a gig economy either.

Do I want to back to school? Do I want to work in a field that isn’t writing and write on the side like I did when I worked full-time? Do I want to just get a job at a bookstore or a cafe or open a tea shop and write in my free time? (Notice writing will likely always factor into the picture.)

The answers to questions definitely depend on what my situation will be when my youngest (now only 3 months old) is big enough for me to have to make a decision. So I have some time to decide. The pie-in-the-sky hope is that I end up with a string of best-selling books and I won’t have to worry about what my job will be because it will be writing. But, honestly, so few people can support themselves this way that if feels irresponsible not to at least think about what else I will do for work.

And thinking about all this right now gives me anxiety. I guess for now, I’ll just try to enjoy taking care of my little ones and being able to squeeze in the writing time when I can.

How about you? Do you have any hobbies that could potentially become a career? Or do you like that your hobbies are just that, hobbies?

#InkRipples is a monthly meme created by Katie L. Carroll, Mary Waibel, and Kai Strand. We pick a topic (October is all about Career vs. Hobby), drop a ripple in the inkwell (i.e. write about it on our blogs), and see where the conversation goes. We’d love to have you join in the conversation on your own blogs or on your social media page. Full details and each month’s topic can be found on my #InkRipples page.

That Day Your Baby Starts Kindergarten

August 29, 2016 / Katie L. Carroll

I often said to The Boy, my first-born, “You’ll always be my baby.” He very sweetly indulges me in this dialogue that usually ends with a snuggle and a kiss. Of course The Boy isn’t a baby anymore. He’s off to kindergarten today, and his baby days feel like a million years ago. So I ask you to please indulge me–the nostalgic mama–as I reminisce on this milestone of a day.

Five years and one day ago The Boy arrived in grand style during Hurricane Irene. He was 17 days early, and his daddy and I did not feel ready at all. In fact, not knowing that hurricanes can make you go into labor, we hadn’t even gotten the nursery fully ready. (Big surprise–not!–I blogged about it in “A Beautiful Life is Born.” Seems I was a little more leery of posting pictures then…still cautious now but more open to sharing.)

That’s my tiny little nugget on his first night “home.” We didn’t actually spend the night at our house because we had no power, but we did take a picture of him in his crib before heading to my in-laws for the night.

A little over one year later, I left my full-time job to do freelance work, focus on my writing, and be a stay-at-home mom with The Boy. Though I had already been working from home a few days a week, the new freedom I had in my schedule allowed for more bonding time with my little buddy.

We started going to toddler story time at the library, hanging out at the cafe for a snack and to watch the trains and trucks go by, and went on lots and lots of walks. That’s what I’ll miss the most about him not being around all day long, our fun yet simple daily adventures, exploring and learning about the world. And being able to do it pretty much whenever without having a million other things on the schedule.

Shortly after The Boy’s second birthday, we found out baby #2 (dubbed The Prince by one of my lovely blog readers!) was on the way. That lead to a very challenging year for the family. It was the year I questioned my decision to become a stay-at-home parent, the year I questioned the decision to have another child, the year I questioned my very ability to be a good mother, and the year I pretty much questioned every other life decision I had ever made to date. (Yup, I blogged about all that, too, in “How Does a Mother’s Love Grow?”.)

All the while my sweet baby was turning into a wonderful, smart, stubborn, sweet, sensitive, curious, perceptive, expressive little boy. Sometimes the emotions felt too big to handle (for both of us!), but we were learning and growing in our roles as mother and son. And preparing for big changes to come.

Fast forward to the next year when The Boy was not quite three and The Prince made an equally exciting, albeit very different, entry into the world. (You are probably not surprised to hear there’s a blog for that as well with “The Precipitous Birth of Baby Boy #2.”) And boy has time flown since then. Forget about fast forward, I’m talking super-fast, lightning-quick, warp-speed ahead kind of time.

There were times when I thought The Boy would never see the Prince as anything other than this thing that took up a lot of Mommy’s time. I worried (among a million other things) that they’d never have that special sibling bond I had with my sisters and brother. But mostly the days were filled with the daily grind of making it through to the next day, and all the little things that filled my life as a mommy. The Boy and I managed to go to the zoo just the two of us on his birthday. We still went to story time and the cafe, we just had an extra little guy in tow.

The Boy started three-year-old pre-K one rainy November morning. There were holidays, more birthdays, and pretty soon I had toddler and a little boy who seemed so far away from being a baby. I often wondered where the days, weeks, months, years had gone.

Always we had our trips to the library, walks downtown and to the beach, treats at the cafe, and playtime at the park. The milestones, the big moments continued to come and go, a million little ones filling all the in-between moments. I tried to remember each one, I took a lot of pictures, and I wrote in the boys’ journals I keep for them.

Year four brought a new school, new friends, new interests, new challenges. New fears. Somewhere along the way, that bond I had worried would never happened blossomed. The Boy and The Prince were brothers, friends, combatants, partners-in-crime. My little nugget–the baby who always had a quick smile turned toddler who could always tell when mommy needed a hug turned pre-schooler who tried my patience to the very end and beyond–was not so little anymore.

I hope he never grows out of speaking his mind (even though it can be sooooo annoying for me as a parent) and being passionate about his interests (no matter what they end up being in the future). I hope he continues to love learning and reading. I hope he never tires of The Prince looking up to him and copying him (even though it can be soooo annoying as an older sibling–I know from experience!). I hope he keeps working on expressing his emotions and figuring out how to do that in productive way (a lesson I’m continuing to learn as well). I hope he continues to challenge me to be a better mom, a better person. I hope he doesn’t drive me crazy!

Most of all I hope he knows how much I love him and how proud I am of him. The Boy. My hurricane baby. My 5-year-old. My kindergartner.

Mommy’s Night Before Christmas

December 21, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

October 2022 Update: If you love this poem, check out the newly revised and illustrated picture book MOMMY’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS by Katie L. Carroll and illustrated by Phoebe Cho.

Available now from Bookshop, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, and more! Find signed copies on the Purchase Books page.

Mommy’s Night Before Christmas

by Katie L. Carroll

‘Twas the night before Christmas, the kids were in bed

Anxiously awaiting the Big Man in Red;

The stockings weren’t hung (we don’t have a chimney),

We just set them down in front of the TV.

Who am I kidding? The kids weren’t sleeping,

The baby was teething, drooling, and weeping;

The preschooler was playing with a million toys,

Driving his cars and making lots of noise.

Half an hour later, the baby passed out,

His brother went to bed (not without a good pout);

I let out a great big sigh of relief,

Then I looked around and thought, “Oh, good grief!”

The house was a mess, the laundry never-ending,

And there was still that ornament that needed mending.

At least we were done hiding that stupid elf,

Went back where he came from, him and his shelf;

Hours passed, we thought we were finally done;

We found more gifts, the fun had just begun;

We were out of wrapping paper and tape,

Reused gift bags put us back in good shape;

I sat down to relax, put my feet up,

Snuggled into a blanket with my tea cup;

A bang outside roused me to my feet,

I peeked out the curtains, looked down the street.

“I don’t think it’s the neighbors,” Daddy said;

“What? You think it’s Santa in his big sled?”

He went to check it out, shot me a look,

And told me to go back to reading my book;

A minute later, I heard a great yell,

And said under my breath, “What the hell?”

I put on my shoes, grabbed the monitor,

Slipped into a coat, and stomped out the door;

The clear winter night brought no Christmas snow,

Instead moonlight washed the yard in a soft glow;

Daddy stood there staring up at the roof;

I hissed, “What are you doing, you big doof?”

He merely pointed, his face full of fear,

And gave a soft whisper, “It’s a reindeer.”

Now, I haven’t believed since I was six,

Thought surely his eyes must be playing tricks;

Then I heard a stomping and a nicker

That made my heart beat a little quicker;

Looking up, I saw the brown muzzle, red nose,

The Fat Man himself, and I simply froze.

Daddy and I exchanged a look of wonder,

The shock could’ve put us six feet under;

I shook my head and came to my senses,

Glared at Santa, went on the offensive;

“Get off my roof, your reindeer too,” I hissed;

I glared at Santa, feeling really pissed;

He laughed, “Don’t end up on my naughty list.”

Clearly this guy wasn’t getting my gist.

“With all due respect, get the hell out of here;

If you wake my kids, you won’t see next year.”

Quiet as a shadow those reindeer took flight,

Santa whispered, “Merry Christmas and good night.”

The Dichotomy of Parenting

December 18, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

Time has a way of changing when you become a parent. The minutes tick by slowly but the years fly by in a flash. Time seems to move at glacial speed when your child is sick or misbehaving or when you have a stretch of rainy days and the dreaded boredom kicks in. The hard moments feels like they’ll never end. But then one day you look back and realize your baby is 4 or 10 or even 20!

Then again this contradiction is indicative of parenthood. You want to spend every minute soaking up your child, but you can’t wait to get an afternoon or a night away. You strive to raise an independent, self-sufficient human being, but it hurts to let him go off on his own. You push him to experience all the world has to offer, but you need to protect him from all the bad things, even though you know you can’t. You show him unconditional love, but also have to be a disciplinarian.

You love your child more than you thought humanely possible (that’s the easy part), but being a good parent is really, really, really hard. You make mistakes, and by doing so you become a better parent. But no matter how long you are a parent, there is always some new challenge to be tackled.

Parenting is messy and impossible and beautiful. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done!

What are your worst and best parenting moments?

November Ripples in the Inkwell: Where Did My Memory Go?

November 9, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

November’s Ink Ripples topic is remembrance/thankfulness, and I’m taking up the latter for my post this month. I have a really good memory, at least I did until I had kids. I had heard that being a mom messes with your ability to remember stuff, but man, I didn’t expect it to mess with me so badly.

I am now the type of person who needs to keep lists in order to remember anything, like anything at all. And all those precious moments of the kiddos that at the time I thought I could never, ever forget…yeah, if I don’t have a picture of it or if I didn’t write it down, it’s gone…forever!

I’m not sure what it is about motherhood that has fried my brain. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Maybe it’s because I primarily hang out with little ones who have the attention span of, well, a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old and it’s rubbing off on me. Maybe it’s that I’m now keeping track of two other people and have to remember all their stuff for them.

Did so-and-so go to the bathroom lately? Did we brush teeth this morning? Who needs to get dressed today (probably me!)? Is it bath night? Who has a doctor appointment this month? And now that The Boy is in school, there are a whole slew of other things to keep track of. Pretty much the only thing we never forget is eating. No one forgets to eat around here!

I’m told that eventually my brain will regain its former glory of being able to remember something for more than five seconds. I’m skeptical but hopeful…

Wait, what was I talking about again?

Inkwell meme green Have you joined the #inkripples movement yet? Ripples in the Inkwell is a monthly meme created by Kai Strand, Mary Waibel, and Katie L. Carroll(me!). On the second Monday of each month, we post on a particular topic. The idea is that we toss a word, idea, or image into the inkwell and each post is a new ripple. There’s no wrong way to do it and we’d love for you to participate (full details here). Be sure to provide a link to your own #inkripple in the comments! Look for details on next year’s ink ripples topics in December!