Tag: Grief

Happy Book Birthday to WITCH TEST by Katie L. Carroll and Bonus Playlist

September 13, 2022 / Katie L. Carroll

Jump for joy! Throw confetti! It’s release day for WITCH TEST!!! I’ll be live on TikTok (@katielcarrollauthor) today at 11:00 a.m. (ET) to celebrate.

@katielcarrollauthor
Witch Test! #witchtest #booksforkids #mgbooks #witchbook #bookquotes #halloweenvibes #fallbooks
♬ Halloween, horror, spooky cinematic background music(852258) – domino

It feels really good to be releasing a book after what feels like forever since the last one…and to have another coming next month with MOMMY’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

I recently said that writing WITCH TEST was like giving a hug to my 11-year-old self, and I can’t think of a better way to describe how I feel about this book. It’s about finding yourself in the saddest place you’ve ever been in your life and feeling like the only way to get through the day is to put yourself in a bubble of protection. And how do you find your way out of that mindset?

As I mentioned in my post “The Historical and Personal Inspiration Behind WITCH TEST,” it’s also about long grief and about mourning someone you never really knew. Chapter 40, titled “Ritual,” makes me cry every time I read it, and I’m not a crier!

Some of my favorite things about the book are the crows, the Halloween night corn maze, the trio of witches, and tea time at Mother Goose Apothecary.

Anyway, thank you for all the support of this book and my author career in general. If you do end up reading the book (or a young person in your life reads it), please leave a review on Amazon. You don’t have to have bought the book there to leave a review. It helps boost the visibility of the book to help it find more readers.

Here’s a little playlist I put together of songs that I think Liza, the main character, can relate to. It includes a couple from my two favorite bands: “Are You Sad” by Our Lady Peace and “Good Grief” by Bastille. My new favorite song “W.I.T.C.H” by Devon Cole is the first on the list because this should totally be Liza’s theme song!

About WITCH TEST:

Liza is sinking in a bubbling cauldron of middle school rumors.

When the entire eighth grade begins studying the Salem witch trials, it seems everyone is on a witch hunt…with Liza as target number one. Worst of all, her ex-best friend is the one who started a rumor that Liza bewitched a boy with a love potion.

As the bullying intensifies, Liza’s loneliness grows. More than ever, she wishes her mother were still alive. A glimmer of hope arrives when Liza finds her mother’s diary…until she actually reads it. Turns out Liza’s family connection to witches goes back for centuries. So much for the witch stuff being rumors!

If Liza can channel her inner witch at the Halloween night corn maze, she might find the strength to stand up for herself. If not, she risks losing a piece of herself to a growing depression and any hope of happiness.

WITCH TEST is an upper middle grade Mean Girls meets The Craft novel for pre-teens and young teens.

Get it now from my Purchase Books page for signed copies, or find it on Bookshop, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, IndieBound, Apple Books, Book Depository (for international folks), and many of your favorite book retailers!

The Historical and Personal Inspiration Behind WITCH TEST

August 23, 2022 / Katie L. Carroll

My upper middle grade WITCH TEST comes out on September 13! Notice the “upper” as there are some heavy topics of bullying, depression, and dealing with the loss of a parent (though the actual passing of the parent occurs many years before the book takes place).

Liza, the main character, is 13 and in eighth grade. I’ve been recommending WITCH TEST as best for the 10-14 age range, rather than the more typical MG one of 8-12. This has made the marketing of the book less straightforward than my other middle grade PIRATE ISLAND. Billy, the main character of PIRATE ISLAND, is also 13, but the topics of the book stay more firmly in the core middle grade range.

Despite the marketing challenges, I think being in that upper age range was the best thing for the story. The upper MG/lower YA category tends to be underrepresented in books, and those readers deserve stories. Plus, the bullying and what I refer to as “long grief” draw on my own teen/preteen experiences and beyond.

My bullying experience took place at the start of middle school in sixth grade and the rumors my ex-friends spread weren’t calling me a witch, rather a lesbian (keep in mind I was in middle school in the early 90s). It was intense to go through that as an 11-year-old, and I decided to age Liza up to 13 to show readers a character who was slightly more mature and introspective than I was when I went through it.

As for the topic of the bullying in Liza’s world, I didn’t want to completely mirror my own. I really loved how PIRATE ISLAND blended local history (in this case Captain Kidd’s pirate history) into a contemporary story, so I wanted an historical tie-in for WITCH TEST as well. When I was brainstorming topics of local history, one of those I came across was the witch trials that occurred in Connecticut, which predate the Salem witch trials. It felt like the perfect metaphor for bullying in modern times.

As my long-time readers might have guessed, the long grief inspiration stems from the death of my sister, Kylene, when she was 16 and I was 19. I’ve often written about how her death has made me the writer I am today and how it has continued to influence my work (see “Why Is It Taking Me So Long To Write the Second Elixir Book?”).

The process of mourning someone is not linear. It never stops. While it does get “better” as time goes on and you find what I call a “new normal,” your feelings can also loop back and it’s awful all over again. I wanted to explore this long mourning in WITCH TEST, so that meant giving Liza even more tough topics to deal with. Her feelings of grief over her mom’s death are largely brought up in response to the bullying, and she wonders how she might be better coping with life if her mother were still alive. As she was only three when her mother died, Liza also ponders how you can miss someone you can’t even remember.

Add in Halloween and a haunted corn maze, and it all makes for a heavy, spooky story. It’s one that I love, and though I’m not typically a crier, I tear up every single time I read the climax scene in the corn maze. And I’ve read it many, many times!

I don’t think there’s anything in the story that younger middle grade readers CAN’T read, but they’re not going to get as much out of it as a slightly older reader. My 10 (almost 11) year old has read it and enjoyed it. He said, “WITCH TEST is intriguing, interesting, and heart-touching.”

About WITCH TEST:

Liza is sinking in a bubbling cauldron of middle school rumors.

WITCH TEST is an upper middle grade Mean Girls meets The Craft novel for pre-teens and young teens.

Pre-order now from Bookshop, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, IndieBound, Apple Books, Book Depository (for international folks), and many of your favorite book retailers.

Still Mourning Kylene 20 Years Later

April 18, 2022 / Katie L. Carroll

This weekend marked the 20th anniversary of my sister’s death. I’ve written a lot about Kylene, her life and mourning her. On the 8th anniversary of her death, I shared a poem she wrote. A year later, in my post “A Lonely Anniversary,” I expressed having a feeling of loneliness that I could place…until finally realizing I was missing my sister. And I shared another one of her poems.

On the 11th anniversary of her death, I was once again “Thinking of Kylene” while reading through one of her journals. One of my favorite posts about her is “No Matter How You Do The Math, Death Death Just Doesn’t Add Up,” where I memorialized her life and tried to make sense of her death. And, of course, there is “The Story of How I Became A Writer.”

Mourning is a life-long process, and something that often weaves its way into the stories I write. In my upcoming middle grade novel WITCH TEST, I once again explore this concept. The main character, Liza, was only three when her mother died in a car crash. Now 13 and friendless because her ex-best friend, Abby, has turned on her, Liza finds herself thinking of her mother. New and confusing feelings surface.

An ache settles in my chest, strong enough to make me groan out loud.
I think I miss my mom. Maybe that’s what’s been causing this feeling of loneliness that has been overwhelming me all afternoon. I think somewhere deep inside of me I’ve been missing her a long time, but this whole Abby thing has finally made me realize how much I lost when I lost my mom.
I never thought of it like that because it’s weird to miss someone you can’t remember.
Witch TEst

I think about the complicated feelings of losing someone young. As time passes, you change and the person you are mourning would have changed. I’m no longer the person my sister knew, and she would no longer be the person I knew. I miss who she was, and I miss who she would have been, even without knowing who exactly that person would have been. I also miss who I would have become if Kylene had lived.

Like Liza, I wonder if “miss” is the right word. In her case, she wonders if she can miss someone she doesn’t remember. In my case, I wonder if I can miss the versions of my sister and myself that never existed. All the while knowing I miss who she was.

I’ve come to call this complicated set of feelings “long mourning.” When the sharpness of new grief has faded away, you’re left with a longer pain — an ache that never really goes away, occasionally punctuated by a sharper pain.

So I guess that’s my convoluted way of saying I still miss my sister — in all the many ways you can miss someone who died young — 20 years after her death. I’ll suppose I’ll continue exploring those feelings in the stories I write, and in my own way, celebrating and mourning my little sister, Kylene.