Fears – Katie L. Carroll

Surprise! I have a picture book coming out soon. While I wait for all the files to be finalized, I figured I’d share the journey of self-publishing this book and once again giving another one of my titles a second life.

Way back in 2012, my picture book THE BEDTIME KNIGHT, illustrated by Erika Baird, released on an ebook platform. I had entered the manuscript in a contest, and it didn’t win but the publisher offered me a contract all the same. It was really exciting to go through that process and seeing how the illustrator brought my words to life.

It was a positive experience in general, but a few years later when that company got bought out by a bigger publishing company, I opted to have my rights reverted back to me. There were several factors for that, but mostly I didn’t care for the terms of the contract and made the tough decision to walk away.

Fast forward a few years, and I had self-published my middle grade novel PIRATE ISLAND and found I really liked the process. I thought about doing that with THE BEDTIME KNIGHT. But publishing a picture book required design skills I did not have and I would have to get the rights from the previous illustrator or hire a new illustrator. I was also focusing on self-publishing my YA fantasy ELIXIR BOUND and writing the sequel ELIXIR SAVED. So once again, my little picture book about being scared of the shadows in the night was set aside.

Then one day, my sister and I were out on a hike with our families. We got talking about what writing project I was working on, one of which was a picture book inspired in part by her family. The conversation turned to what had ever happened with THE BEDTIME KNIGHT. I don’t remember her exact words, but she said something about how she had really liked the book and hoped it would be available again one day. I know she’s my sister, but we’re not the kind of people to compliment each other and not mean it, so I knew she was being sincere in her praise.

As a traditionally published author turned self-published one, it’s been hard not to doubt myself. Hard not to wonder if my work is good enough. And very hard to find an audience. So many books come out every year, and it’s often hard to find readers even with the backing of a publishing company, never mind when you’re doing it all yourself. So the fact that my sister enjoyed my book and wished it to be out in the world again meant something. It reminded me that my books–even when they’re only reaching a small audience–are important.

So I slowly started thinking about republishing THE BEDTIME KNIGHT. This time I wanted to have a print version, not just a digital one. I eventually reached out the to the illustrator and asked if she’d be willing to negotiate for the rights to use her illustrations. And she was!

We came to an agreement, and I taught myself how to design and format a picture book. This was all done in between other projects, and learning a design program can be a time-consuming process, so writing out the process sounds much less complicated than it felt while doing it. But I did it.

Now I’m super excited to announce that THE BEDTIME KNIGHT will be coming out in paperback and ebook very soon. Stay tuned for links!

I’m very pleased to welcome back Kai Strand, who is celebrating the release of her YA contemporary novella Worth the Effort: Ella’s Story (see my 5-star Goodreads review here). She is discussing a topic near and dear to every writer: overcoming fears! Kai is also offering up a nice giveaway, so make sure to enter at the end of the post.

Overcoming Your Fears

By Kai Strand

In my newly released novella, Worth the Effort: Ella’s Story, Ella has to face a fear she wasn’t even aware of prior to meeting Ayden.

Ella is a senior in high school. She has a part-time job as a barista at a café downtown. She prefers to work the opening shift – you know, to get work over with for the day. For the two years she has worked at Read Between the Beans, she’s never once felt vulnerable until the morning she bops up to the backdoor of the restaurant and finds someone sleeping in the shadows next to the dumpster.

But realizing how vulnerable she is, all alone at four in the morning, isn’t even what scares her the most. It’s the fact that the homeless person sleeping in her alley is a seventeen-year-old boy. Ella hadn’t realized there were homeless kids, nor did she realize how terrified she was of them.

Just like Ella has to face her fear in her story, I had to face mine to make it available for your reading pleasure.

I was always terrified of self-publishing. Over the past few years the role of indie author has exploded until it seems like everyone is doing it. But still I resisted. Because I was scared to death. Afraid I’d look like a hack. Terrified I’d make a mistake. Worried I wouldn’t sell any copies and waste all that time, effort, and money.

But the more I watched the industry evolve (not that it is finished evolving, by any means) the more I realized that I wanted my career to stretch across all publishing opportunities and that meant self-publishing. So not only did I write the story, but I studied how to self publish, asked questions of more experienced authors, learned a formatting software (well, still learning it, actually), and forced myself to keep moving forward.

There were a couple times during the process that I almost quit. I almost decided to submit the novella to a small press for consideration. If it was accepted, they could do the hard work. Even now that the book is out there, my stomach still squirms. But I remind myself that I love public speaking even though I get all squirmy-bellied before each gig, and maybe self-publishing will be like that too.

So writing and publishing Ella’s Story was an exercise in both Ella and I facing our fears. Have you faced a fear? Did you succeed? Did you have to try again? Or do you have a fear you want to face?

About Worth the Effort: Ella’s Story:

Ella Jones is a coward. There is a teen boy living in the alley behind her work and she is terrified of him.

Desperate to leave behind the stereotypical and judgmental world she was raised in, Ella forces herself to make a true connection with seventeen-year-old Ayden Worth. As their friendship grows Ayden’s quiet, gentle ways teach her true courage.

But there’s more to Ayden’s story than Ella knows. When their worlds collide in the most unexpected place, Ella feels betrayed. Will she find the courage to learn who Ayden really is, or will she determine he’s not worth the effort?

Amazon, Goodreads

About the Author:

When her children were young and the electricity winked out, Kai Strand gathered her family around the fireplace and they told stories, one sentence at a time. Her boys were rather fond of the ending, “And then everybody died. The end.” Now an award winning children’s author, Kai crafts fiction for kids and teens to provide an escape hatch from their reality. With a selection of novels for young adult and middle grade readers and short stories for the younger ones, Kai entertains children of all ages, and their adults. Learn more about Kai and her books on her website, www.kaistrand.com.

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