Category: Writing (Page 65 of 73)

The Possibilities of Dreams

February 28, 2011 / Katie L. Carroll

Dreams—both sleeping and waking—are funny things. I’ve always been a very vivid sleep dreamer. As a young child, I had a reoccurring nightmare that I was being chased by wolves. Eventually those nightmares gave way to ones in which I was stalked by dinosaurs. Then I had a period in which most of my nightmares were end-of-the-world scenarios.Most recently I’ve been having dreams in which I am running late for some type of engagement (sometimes I’ve reverted back to my school days, other times I’m late for work) and I just can’t seem to get where I need to go. These don’t invoke the same fear as my wolf, dinosaur, or apocalyptic dreams, but a great deal of anxiety goes along with them.

I think these reoccurring dreams are a manifestation of anxieties or fears I am having in real life. The real-life fears have nothing to do with wolves or the end of the world, but this is how my brain interprets the fears and anxieties of my waking life in the dream world.

The nightmares, though, aren’t the hardest dreams. I wake up from nightmare with my heart racing and my body chilled from a cold sweat, but pretty soon I realize It was all just a dream. The hardest dreams are the ones about my dead little sister, Kylene (and forgive me here for displaying a little emotion…something I hate to do in any kind of public forum).

It’s not that these are scary dreams in which she’s coming back from the dead to haunt me or anything. No, they’re usually quite pleasant. Often we’re kids again, but sometimes I’m an adult (she was 16 when she died, so she is never really older than that in my dreams). We may be off on some adventure, but often we’re just hanging out.

(Here I am reading to Kylene when we were kids…I know, my hair is terrible and she’s cute as a button!)

While I’m having these dreams, there’s always that little something niggling me in the back of my mind. That voice that’s saying Something isn’t right here. You know when you’re dreaming and you’re in a place you know in real life, like your house, but it doesn’t look like your real-life house, yet somehow you just know that it is your house. That’s the feeling I’m talking about.

Sometimes the revelation of what’s wrong comes to me while I’m dreaming, but the full meaning of it doesn’t hit me until I’m awake. And that something is that my sister is dead, and even if the dream felt completely real to me, I know it wasn’t because people don’t come back from the dead.

And that’s the hard part of these dreams: that moment when I realize It was all just a dream, that my sister really is dead, and she’s never coming back. For a split second, the raw emotions are all too real and even though it’s been almost nine years since she died, I feel like it’s only been minutes and I’m losing her all over again.

But it isn’t all bad because maybe sleep is a place where you can bridge the gap between life and death. Maybe she can come back to life, even if it’s only for a little while in my subconscious. Or maybe she really is coming to visit me in some spiritual form (a little far-fetched for my logical mind, but I suppose it’s possible). And you know what? Even if it was just a dream, I got to see my sister again and that’s worth all the pain of remembering she’s gone.

That’s the beauty of dreams: they open up a world of possibilities. Like black holes, we don’t know all that much about them. They’re one of life’s great mysteries. And I think that these dreams we have in sleep help fuel our dreams in life. I dream in sleep and I feel my sister is alive again. And I dream in the waking world to become a published writer, so that my sister can live again in a fictional world.
But waking dreams are a discussion for another post. What have you been dreaming of lately?

Magnetic Poetry: translucent desire

February 22, 2011 / Katie L. Carroll

The infamous magnetic poetry kit has been quiet of late (maybe because the winter has caused me to be something of a recluse and I haven’t invited anyone over lately). I’m hoping a new crop of words (a gift from my cousin) will spark the creativity of any future guests.

In the meantime, here’s a few lines of magnetic poetry that have been hanging out on my refrigerator:

beneath a translucent desire is fear genius & beauty (umm…I think I need more time to think about this one…it’s very deep)
black monkey chicken naked in the night (you always have to look out for the black monkey chicken…especially when it’s naked)

whisper bosom talk s sweet idea s of mind & shadow (and you should talk back to the whisper bosom with your trumpet bottom)

take me (like all good poetry this is short and to the point, but at the same time it has multiple layers…and it’s also what she said!)

spring is like the sweet flower that time leave s behind (a little too cliched for me, but I can appreciate the sentiment)

Thanks to all who contributed. And if you’re ever at my house, please take a few minutes to create your own piece of poetry.

Wintry Reading Update

January 12, 2011 / Katie L. Carroll

As New England got buried in snow once again (seriously, when am I ever going to benefit from global warming) and I got the rare snow day off from work, I was happy to have plenty of indoor activities to keep me busy, i.e. writing and reading. I have a big ol’ stack of books in my to-be-read pile (some of which have been lent out even before I’ve read them) and an order of books on its way to my house, but really, one can never have too many books.

One of the books that is on its way is the YA dystopian XVI by Julia Karr. Julia and I roomed together at the SCBWI Summer Conference in L.A. last summer and had a blast. Aside from her talents as a writer, Julia is a kick-ass dancer! I am so excited for her debut novel.

Another debut I’m looking forward to is in the middle grade category: Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide To Not Reading by Tommy Greenwald, who is an esteemed member of my critique group.

A couple of books that are part of a series have also made my most-anticipated-books list. There’s The Dark and Hollow Places by Carrie Ryan, Fury of the Phoenix by Cindy Pon, and Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore. With these books, there will be lots of fantastic things: magical powers, zombies, handsome fellows, and strong females.

What are you looking forward to reading?

The Pages I’ve Read in 2010

January 6, 2011 / Katie L. Carroll

As we turn the page on 2010 to a new one on 2011 (yeah, yeah, pretty corny!), I’ve been thinking about the pages and pages I’ve read this year, which just happens to be enough fill 65 books (not to mention all the magazines, newspapers, blogs, and cereal boxes I’ve read). Interestingly that was the same exact number of book I read in 2009. I had hoped to read more books in 2010, but I put reading somewhat aside in the second half of the year in order to give myself more writing time, or as was often the case, more revising time.

Throughout the year, I featured the book trailers of some of my favorite books, including my absolute most favoritest book of the year: The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson (which my twin-not-twin sister gave to me for my b-day). I also picked up a bunch of signed books (some of which are still on my to-read list): Al Capone Shines My Shoes by Gennifer Choldenko (which came highly recommended by my 11-year-old nephew), Dead Girl Walking by Linda Joy Singleton, and Princess Ben by Catherine Gilbert Murdock to name a few.

In honor of Banned Books Week, I draped myself in only banned/challenged books. After reading that post, a certain book buddy of mine gave me The Giver by Lois Lowry when she found out I didn’t have my own copy.

As for 2011 in addition to print books, I’ve now had my Nook for over a year and hope to add to my Nook book collection. At Girls’ Christmas a new book bag was started. Basically, a group of us girls pass around the bag of books and when it’s out turn to have the bag, we can read none/any/all of the books in it and write in the enclosed journal if we choose to. Then you take out any books you had previously put in and add more books if you want to.

Up next, I’ve got some 2011 releases I’m really, really looking forward to reading! Enter a great contest on Anna Staniszewski’s blog to maybe win some of those books. What were your favorite books of the year?

Gathering Book Ideas From Song Lyrics

December 5, 2010 / Katie L. Carroll

I may be stating the obvious here, since all my blog titles are song lyrics, but music is important to my writing. Sometimes it’s just a lyric or two that inspires me, but other times a whole song speaks to a scene on which I’m working or a character I’m developing.

In my story Elixir Bound, there’s a scene where the main character, Katora, floats above the forest via a magical binding (yup, it’s a fantasy). Katora normally can’t fly and it’s a malevolent creature that binds her, but for a minute she feels a rush of adrenaline that gives her an intense high and sense of freedom. When I think about this part, I always hear the long musical beginning of the live version of Naveed/Life by Our Lady Peace (pretty much my favorite band of all time). This song gives me the same kind of feeling I imagined Katora having when I wrote that scene.

In my reimagining of The Little Mermaid, one of the main characters Poe is in love with his best friend, but he thinks she’s never going to love him back. Naturally, his song is Jason Mraz’s If It Kills Me. The lyrics “Well, all I really want to do is love you/A kind much closer than friends use/But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through” are such a perfect description of how he feels.

And then there’s this new idea that’s been percolating in my imagination for a few months now. This one is rife with musical inspiration. The original idea popped into my head while I was listening to Godsmack’s song Voodoo. I heard the lyric “Never did I wanna be here again/And I don’t remember why I came” and a whole scenario played out in my brain like a mini-movie.

Then I realized (as I often realize when I think I’ve had an inkling of an original thought) that my idea was just a YA dystopian ripoff of The Bourne Identity with a female teenager as Bourne. So I decided to actually read the book instead of watch the movie yet again (really, who can get enough of Matt Damon as a reluctant assassin?).

Anyway (I do digress), that’s not the only song that has inspired this new story. The main character (who may or may not have a name that was inspired by the lead sing of the aforementioned favorite band…I haven’t decided if it’s the right one…but who does have a nickname of Black Butterfly) has a past that she can’t remember, but may somewhat be described by Civil Twilight’s song Soldier.

And seeing as the opening scene of this story was inspired by a song, it’s fitting that the closing scene was also inspired by a song: Linkin Park’s Waiting for the End. Mind you, I’ve done a lot of thinking about this new story, but I only have bits and pieces of it scribbled in some notebooks. The rest is all in my head…for now. I have a couple off other projects that are taking priority over this one, but it’ll get written down one day soon.