This weekend marked the 20th anniversary of my sister’s death. I’ve written a lot about Kylene, her life and mourning her. On the 8th anniversary of her death, I shared a poem she wrote. A year later, in my post “A Lonely Anniversary,” I expressed having a feeling of loneliness that I could place…until finally realizing I was missing my sister. And I shared another one of her poems.
Mourning is a life-long process, and something that often weaves its way into the stories I write. In my upcoming middle grade novel WITCH TEST, I once again explore this concept. The main character, Liza, was only three when her mother died in a car crash. Now 13 and friendless because her ex-best friend, Abby, has turned on her, Liza finds herself thinking of her mother. New and confusing feelings surface.
An ache settles in my chest, strong enough to make me groan out loud.
I think I miss my mom. Maybe that’s what’s been causing this feeling of loneliness that has been overwhelming me all afternoon. I think somewhere deep inside of me I’ve been missing her a long time, but this whole Abby thing has finally made me realize how much I lost when I lost my mom.
I never thought of it like that because it’s weird to miss someone you can’t remember.
Witch TEst
I think about the complicated feelings of losing someone young. As time passes, you change and the person you are mourning would have changed. I’m no longer the person my sister knew, and she would no longer be the person I knew. I miss who she was, and I miss who she would have been, even without knowing who exactly that person would have been. I also miss who I would have become if Kylene had lived.
Like Liza, I wonder if “miss” is the right word. In her case, she wonders if she can miss someone she doesn’t remember. In my case, I wonder if I can miss the versions of my sister and myself that never existed. All the while knowing I miss who she was.
I’ve come to call this complicated set of feelings “long mourning.” When the sharpness of new grief has faded away, you’re left with a longer pain — an ache that never really goes away, occasionally punctuated by a sharper pain.
So I guess that’s my convoluted way of saying I still miss my sister — in all the many ways you can miss someone who died young — 20 years after her death. I’ll suppose I’ll continue exploring those feelings in the stories I write, and in my own way, celebrating and mourning my little sister, Kylene.
I’m very excited to announce that my middle grade novel WITCH TEST will be coming out later this year! I don’t have an exact release date, but look for it in September. Of course, I’ll have all the details here on the blog as things move forward. You can make sure you’re subscribed to the blog by entering your email address on my website homepage https://katielcarroll.com.
Not the real cover…just something I was playing around with.
Liza thought her summer fight with her ex-best friend, Abby, would blow over, but a month into eighth grade and the rumor firestorm has reach a whole new level of awful. And everyone believes that Liza is a witch! Even as a rekindled passion for art leads to new friends, Liza retreats into a bubble of depression. All these feelings get tied up in the never-ending grief of having lost her mom at a young age.
A glimmer of hope arrives when she finds her mother’s diary…until she actually reads it. Before Liza was born, her mom and aunt performed a ritual to conjure an ancestor persecuted in the town’s witch trials. So much for the witch stuff being rumors! As Liza digs into her witchy ancestry, everyone else is making plans for the Halloween night corn maze. If Liza can channel her inner witch on Halloween, maybe she can find the strength to stand up to Abby. If not, she risks losing not only her new friends but also a piece of herself to the growing depression.
I’m currently working on edits and developing a cover with the cover artist (not the real cover above, just a fun visual I put together myself). Some of my favorite things about this novel are the crows, the Halloween night corn maze, Liza’s aunts, her aunt’s shop Mother Goose Apothecary, and all the tea drinking! And the ending of this story never fails to get me all choked up, no matter how many times I read it.
I’ll be looking for ARC (advanced reader copy) readers soon, so let me know in the comments if that’s something that interests you. What is an ARC reader? That’s someone who gets an early copy of the book (these will be in ebook form) in exchange for a honest review.
Crows are an important part of my witchy middle grade book, so it felt very serendipitous when I connected with Sara Webley, author of ZO IN THE ROOSTING TREE. Let’s give a big welcome to Sara and and her clever crow character Zo!
Besides writing books for young readers, I’m an editor of texts ranging from academic writing to consumer health to kids’ books. I’ve also worked in the zoo and aquarium field as an animal technician and zookeeper. I love fiction and nonfiction about animals and nature. So when I decided to write a fantasy about a young girl who switches places with an American Crow, I wanted to combine the real with the magical—nature with fantasy. Write what you know, but…twist it! I wanted my readers to view nature from the perspective of the animal.
So I had to decide: How to construct Zo in the Roosting Tree? How to bridge reality and fantasy?
I began by researching crow behavior, crow myths, crow intelligence. Write what you know—and anything you don’t know, educate yourself about it! So I was continually checking: How would a real crow act in the scene I’m writing? What cool example of crow behavior can I include? This research gave me a framework for creating my plot and characters. What I aimed for was a fantasy close enough to reality that it would pull my readers in and make them wonder…Could that really happen? Would the crow I see outside my window every day be able to do that? And…Is that crow watching me?
The crow and human needed to switch places, so they could each learn about the other’s world. Because of my own bond with nature, I created a human character who loves birds: a young girl named Jae, who would live inside Zo the crow’s body. And the crow would live inside Jae’s human body. That’s the magical “Switch”—girl and crow, crow and girl. I hoped to excite young readers about a bird they probably see every day and don’t think much about. I wanted them to care about animals by being one for a while.
I made choices about plot, scenes, conflicts, and fun based on what I know about real crows. Planning my storyline, I wanted the magical crow Zo to behave in ways that reflect reality. Crows are smart, social, playful, adaptable birds. So I made Zo clever, fun-loving, family-oriented. Crows recognize human faces—people they like, and people they don’t. Crows are also problem-solvers, comparable in intelligence to monkeys and dolphins. They can use tools to find hidden food, slide down a snowy windshield just for fun, or surf the clouds by gripping a big piece of bark with their toes. So I set some problems in front of Zo to see how she might solve them—like being hunted by a scary owl at dawn. Zo may live in a fantasy world, but her behavior reflects the skills of a real crow.
But what’s fun about writing nature fantasy is not having to be totally accurate! After editing academic writing for years, I needed a 180-degree turn. So I took liberties: A real crow would not be friends with a young cardinal. A real crow would not ride on a snapping turtle’s back. I enjoyed starting with what I knew about the true nature of crows, and then twisting that into fantasy.
My goal was also to get readers interested in the much-maligned crow (think: Hitchcock’s The Birds) by presenting a sympathetic crow who teaches us something about natural behavior. This winter, a friend told me that she’d seen a huge group of crows gathering in a parking lot before they flew off to roost for the night. She said it made her think of “the apocalypse.” That’s what I wanted to counter with Zo’s character, by showing readers how crows communicate, play, and care for each other. In that parking lot, those crows were probably discussing where to find food the next day, not planning the apocalypse!
Nicer beliefs exist about crows, too: they’re famous for leaving “gifts” for humans. There’s some disagreement about that among bird scientists, but I wanted to use a shiny gift in the plot. I make silver chain maille bracelets, so I decided that Jae would have one. The real bracelet jump-starts the magical crow-and-girl Switch. Nature and reality…with a fantasy twist.
ZO IN THE ROOSTING TREE blurb:
Caw! Zo looks like a crow, sounds like a crow, and flies like a crow. But Zo thinks she’s a human girl inside!
Zo in the Roosting Tree tells the story of a clever crow, through the eyes of a human girl. A girl who loves being a crow, but who must find the secret to being human. Follow Zo’s adventures as she wakes up one morning in the roosting tree, learns to fly, plays games with a goofy cardinal named Rufus, and surfs the wind with her wings in the clouds. Kahr! Kahr!
Being Zo the crow is fun. And Rufus has become her best birdy friend. But when Zo discovers the dangers of her new life—owls and bobcats and cars—she misses her human family. Time is running out. Can a mysterious snapping turtle help Zo find the magic she needs to go home again?
When Sara Webley was ten years old, her grandmother’s monthly magazine published Sara’s poem about a lobster…minus the final stanza. Not too happy with Grandma’s editing, Sara became an editor and writer herself. She has helped others do their best work through her editorial company, JAS Group Writing & Editing. Sara’s poetry has appeared in Flyway, Cold Mountain Review, and Appalachia.
Also trained as a veterinary health technician, Sara worked at Boston’s Franklin Park Zoo and New England Aquarium caring for seals, otters, porcupines, coyotes, snakes, monkeys, turtles, and other animals. Currently, she volunteers handling hawks and owls at a nature center, where she met one very special American Crow. As an author, Sara combines her love of animals with her love of books for young readers. She enjoys watching the crows gather at dusk in their roosting tree near her home. Follow Sara and Zo on Instagram @sara_webley_author and @zo_crow at facebook.com/zointheroostingtree.
Last year, after I got my YA fantasy ELIXIR SAVED finalized and up for preorder, the goal was to take a break. Not that I wasn’t going to write, more that anything I wrote would be without a plan.
I had started my witchy middle grade back in October 2019 when I did an Unworkshop at the Highlights Foundation, but I didn’t want to dive back into that one yet. I wanted to play around and not focus on a big project like a novel, and I wanted time to refill my creative well with reading, watching, and listening to music.
That was the plan at the beginning of the year, and I got ELIXIR SAVED ready in early March just before schools shut down. And, well, you all know what we’ve all been dealing with ever since. By the time I figured out how to fit in writing time again with early morning sessions (which didn’t happen until June!), I needed to have a plan instead of play, so I opted to work on the witchy middle grade.
Then I also got the rights to the illustrations for my picture book THE BEDTIME KNIGHT, so that became my play project as I taught myself to design a picture book. And now THE BEDTIME KINGHT is a real book out in the world and my middle grade is off to critique partners!
So I am truly ready for that writing “break” I meant to take (*checks notes*) almost a year ago. I have some STEM topics I’ll be exploring and I’ll be playing around with book formats I haven’t written before. Eventually I’ll be getting back to my witchy middle grade, and then I’ll have to decide what novel I’m writing next, but it’s all play for now for me. I’m really looking forward to it.
What kind of play or work (writing or non-writing related) have you all been up to?
It seems I say the same thing at the beginning of every New Year: mainly that I’m always in the middle of things and a resolution doesn’t make much sense. Well, 2021 is no exception, so my plan is to keep moving forward on what I’ve been working on.
I’m so very close to finishing this big revision of my witchy middle grade novel, which finally has a title (not sure if that will end up being THE title, so not sharing right now). I think my next move is printing out a copy to do smaller line revisions before sharing it with critique partners.
I’ll also be presenting a Virtual ShopTalk with the New England SCBWI called “What to Expect When You’re Self-Publishing” on January 26, 2021 from 7:00 – 8:00 pm. Having booked this workshop has finally given me the motivation to work on setting up a page on my website for resources on self-publishing, so keep an eye out for that.
All in all, lots of good stuff going on. I’ve thought about doing a 2020 book wrap-up post, but like everyone else, I’m kind just ready to move on and not look back. I hope the New Year brings you and yours health and happiness, and I’d love to hear your resolutions or plans for 2021.
