Category: Language (Page 8 of 9)

Viewer Discretion Advised

February 5, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

I always chuckle when that “Viewer Discretion is Advised” warning airs at the beginning of a TV show. I can’t help but think Duh! Shouldn’t viewers always use discretion when watching a TV program? And can anyone really indiscriminately watch TV anyway?

Maybe if people used discretion (defined as “the power or right to decide or act according to one’s own judgement”) in all aspects of their lives, the world would be a better place. And if someone fails to use discretion, then maybe that right should be taken away from him and we should let someone else use discretion on his behalf.

Some of my favorite programs have these warnings (Family Guy and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), but some programs that should include this warning don’t. I’m not sure if this episode of How It’s Made had a viewer warning, but this clip definitely should. It was very unsettling. It made me laugh, which immediately made me feel bad, and then it kind of made me want to cry! You’ll just have to watch it to see what I mean.

The Lunar Effect: Real or Fake?

October 14, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

As the full moon approaches, I can’t help but wonder about the old myth of the Lunar Effect. Does the full moon really cause erratic behavior in humans? A scientist would probably say no (see articles here and here for more). The logical side of me (and yes, there is a logical side of me…I was a logic puzzle editor!) certainly believes there’s no proof of the Lunar Effect, but the creative side of me thinks maybe there is some truth to the myth.

After all, the word “lunar,” which means pertaining to the moon, (stick with me here; I’ll try not to get too wordy on you), is derived from the word “luna,” which when capitalized is the name of the Roman Goddess of the moon and when lower-cased is the Latin word for moon. (Okay, take a breath!) Now, the Latin word “luna” gives us the Late Latin word “lunaticus,” which means moonstruck. In the romantic sense, moonstruck means dreamily bemused, but a more literal interpretation gives us the meaning of struck crazy by the moon. (I swear we’re almost done!) So the word “lunaticus,” i.e. moonstruck, brings us to the word “lunatic,” which in a not-so-politically-correct definition is a crazy person. (Are you still with me?)

Beyond the simple (!!!) word associations, I have my own empirical evidence to suggest a connection between erratic behavior and the full moon. Just spend a few minutes on the road and you’ll see how crazy drivers get during the full moon…oh wait, people drive like lunatics everyday. Well, there was this one time I saw Professor Lupin turn into a werewolf when he caught sight of the full moon…oh wait, I only read about that in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Okay, so maybe I don’t really have any empirical evidence.

Still, scientifically the moon does affect the tides, which in turn affects climate. And in literature, the English Romantic poets were inspired (and possibly driven crazy) by the magic of the moon. When in doubt, I often find it helpful to look to children for the simple answer. My little niece and nephew are always excited to spot the moon, especially during the daytime, so there must be something special about it. Maybe we just can’t scientifically observe its impact on us, much like we can’t verify the existence of the soul in a quantifiable way; we can only feel it.

Risque Party Magnetic Poetry

July 14, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

The magnetic poetry kit was a big hit at the party I hosted this weekend. Apparently the lack of punctuation didn’t bother my intoxicated friends. Alas there was no “pleasure pickle,” but both words did make an appearance. Just a quick disclaimer: These quotes get a bit graphic, so anyone with a sensitive stomach–or with any sensibilities at all–may want to refrain from reading further! I kept the space between magnets even when they made one word because some of the combinations are particularly creative.

If you are brave enough to persevere:

“bleed that perfect thought puppet” (ummm…eww, I think?)

“manipulate a precious chicken beneath old skeleton” (double eww)

“sweet steam y fire y sex” (sounds good to me–as long as it’s in the figurative sense)

“dance with green angel” (oddly sweet, although it did kind of remind of me Slimer from Ghostbusters)

“my love life is curse d” (so sad, but given the other phrases not terribly surprising)

“obedient famous people suck money” (what about those disobedient famous people?)

“play & drink but never sleep” (an apt description of my party!)

“imagine me between random girl s spurt ing” (hopefully the random girls are of age)

“I desire a hot naked good bald woman to come on” (who doesn’t?)

“she always eat s my pleasure monkey then howl s” (that’s just like her, isn’t it?)

“expose tremendous bosom & ache ing pickle” (oh, if only I had a tremendous bosom)

“explore another man bone in he r mouth” (really, no thanks…I’m all set)

I did leave out one that used the word “prostitute” because I felt it might be too offensive (I know, it must’ve been pretty bad given what I did include!). Oh, and I swear I didn’t make any of these up myself…this is really what is on my refrigerator right now. I’ll have to remember to rearrange the magnets before my nine-year-old nephew comes over!

More Grammar Nerd Problems: Signs

July 3, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

Another place where a lack of punctuation—I know, I know…not another writery post—can get you into trouble is on the road. And I’m not talking about those rare funny signs (check out http://www.stupidstreetsigns.com/ to see some). I’m talking signs you probably see every day. Some common ones are clear enough: STOP, YIELD, NO PARKING. Others, not so much.

For example, I frequently see a sign that says SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING. When I read this, I can’t help but think, Aww! Good for those slow children. They are playing. Not only do these signs tell us where the slow children are, but there are also ones that tell us about the mysterious SLOW SCHOOL. What qualifies a school as slow? Does that mean the children who go there are slow? That would make sense given all the slow children in the world. If that’s the case, do we really need a sign to tell us where it is? Is that so we can all go down to the slow school and point and laugh at the slow children?

I know what you’re thinking, Those signs are meant to tell you to slow down when driving in neighborhoods where there are a lot of children. Maybe that’s the intention, but that’s not what the signs are really saying. If a sign read SLOW, CHILDREN PLAYING, I would have no trouble understanding that I should reduce my speed and watch out for children at play.

Granted, there are times when the signs have the silhouette of a person in between SLOW and CHILDREN, but that doesn’t mean I should start assuming there’s punctuation all over the place (trust me, it’s usually bad to ass-u-me things!). If I did that, I could just start thinking all kinds of crazy things. Take the sign that reads SCHOOL BUS STOP AHEAD. Should I read it as SCHOOL-BUS STOP AHEAD or SCHOOL BUS, STOP AHEAD? Is the sign notifying me that there is a bus stop coming up or is it telling school buses to stop ahead?

Not to mention all the common signs that just don’t make any sense at all. With or without punctuation, the sign SCHOOL CROSSING AHEAD indicates that there is an area where a school crosses a street. Wow! I’d like to see that school even more than I’d like to see the special school. There’s also the sign that says BLIND DRIVEWAY. Too bad for that driveway. Although, I’m not sure why a driveway would want to be able to see anyway…maybe to look up girls’ skirts when they walk over it. Honestly, I could go on forever about all the nonsensical road signs, but I won’t bore you any further!

Grammar Nerd Problems: Magnetic Poetry

June 19, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

I received one of those magnetic poetry kits as a gift some time ago. It’s basically these small white refrigerator magnets, each with a different word on it. Now, the package says it’s supposed to cure writer’s block, but I find the whole thing a bit unsettling. For one, it has words like “prostitute,” “sex,” and “naked.” And I can’t tell you how many times the phrase “pleasure pickle” has shown up on my refrigerator. True, all these words have their place in the great lexicon of American language, but they don’t exactly stimulate me to create thought provoking prose.

Far worse than the risqué vocabulary (which is really more hilarious than offensive) is that the kit has no punctuation. I know, I know…I’m such a dork. Hear me out, though. Language, grammar, and punctuation are far from the stupor inducing lessons you remember from school. Truth be told, I’ve learned most of English skills by reading, not by doing lessons. With the risk of revealing what a true nerd I am, I’ll admit that over the years I have grown to enjoy the intricacies of a well-crafted sentence (not necessarily a long sentence).

In order for someone to understand what you’re trying to write, you have to use all these elements correctly and with purpose. Take the title of one of my favorite grammar books Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Notice the difference between that and the less dramatic “eats shoots & leaves.” Are we talking about a crazy murderer or a cute little panda? (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I apologize for getting too writery on you! You can skip this and just reread the dirty words in the first paragraph!)

That brings me back to the word magnets. Without punctuation, I find it hard to put the words together in a way that makes sense. “Pleasure pickle” aside, I don’t want someone reading my fridge and getting the wrong idea! I want to create sentences that really mean something. Sentences that may even move people to laugh, cry, cringe, or yell. Who knows, one day my sentences might even inspire someone to get off the couch and do something better with her life.