Books for kids, teens, & those who are young at heart

Category: Family (Page 1 of 27)

When Grief Unexpectedly Hits (and it Shows up in Your Writing)

The thing about grief is that each person experiences it differently, and it encompasses many different emotions. It can change over time, but it can also revert back to that fresh grief in unexpected moments. And it never goes away.

Recently, I was driving two of my kiddos to a travel soccer game. They were both in the back of the minivan, my 10-year-old reading and the 13-year-old playing on his phone. I had the radio tuned to the local alternative rock station that plays 90s music on the weekends, my favorite kind of music. The sun was out, the kids weren’t fighting, and I was in a good mood.

My sister Kylene on the left and me on the right standing next to each other. We were both teenagers at the time, her slightly taller than me, even though I was 3 years older than her.
Kylene (left) and Katie (right) around the ages when we were singing “Dumb” in the car together.

Then, the song “Dumb” by Nirvana came on, and I was transported back to another car ride, one that was more than 20 years ago. It was a similarly nice day, and I was on the way to play beach volleyball with some friends. Instead of my kids as companions, I had my sister Kylene. She loved to sing and had a beautiful voice, and she wasn’t afraid to sing loudly in front of others. Not like me, I kept my tone-deaf voice to the confines of the shower and my car.

So when “Dumb” came on the radio, we were both singing along, Kylene considerably louder than I was. The song got to the end where Kurt Cobain, the lead singer, repeats the line “I think I’m dumb” over and over again. Only, that’s not what Kylene sang. She was belting out “African dough” over and over again. I cracked up, tears rolling down my cheeks, because she had no idea that she was singing the wrong lyrics.

Of course, being the amazing older sister that I am (and also a teenager at the time), I not-so-nicely pointed out that she was singing the wrong lyrics and her lyrics made absolutely no sense. When we got to the beach, I told all our friends of her mistake, and it became a running joke every time we heard that song. For the rest of her life…which turned out not to be that much longer because she passed away when she was only 16. (I’ve written about this before in “Still Mourning Kylene 20 years Later.”)

Fast forward to hearing “Dumb” in the minivan with my kids, and I once again had tears rolling down my cheeks. I had my sunglasses on and my kids were paying no attention to me. I didn’t want to upset them or have to answer any questions they might have asked, so I kept them oblivious to my silent tears. We’ve talk about Kylene, and they know it was a very hard thing to go through, but in that moment, I wanted to be alone in my feelings. When it got to the end of the song, I quietly sang “African dough” instead of the correct lyrics, a little smile breaking out on my face.

Hearing that song and having that punch of a memory hit me, it made me miss my sister so much. It brought up fresh grief mixed in with all the old grief. The sadness that my kids will never get to meet their Auntie Kylene; the weird emptiness of her not being here anymore, even when I have no idea what she would be like now or what our relationship would be like; and the loss of all the things that she never got to be and do, whatever those things might have been. There was also the humor and fondness of the memory.

Even now, all these many years later, the grief can be overwhelming and complicated and hard and unique. It’s no wonder themes of grief often pop up in my writing. There’s my upper middle grade book Witch Test where Liza is being bullied by her ex-best friend, which brings up all sorts of feelings about her late mother. And my YA Hamlet retelling Only Dark Edges where Delta is haunted by the ghost of her sister and spirals into a deep depression of grief. And my work-in-progress picture book about a little girl, whose sister named Winnie recently passed away, goes looking for Winnie-the-Pooh in the woods.

I’ve always said one of the reasons I write is to try and make sense of the world. Kylene’s death will never make sense to me. But writing about it helps me sort out my feelings. And when I publish works about grief, my hope is that it will help kids who experience grief realize they are not alone in their feelings.

The Inspiration Behind the Award-Winning YA fantasy ELIXIR BOUND

ELIXIR BOUND is the book that made me an author, but it’s so much more than that. This book and its sequel, ELIXIR SAVED, are memorials to my sister Kylene. In ELIXIR BOUND, Katora, who has a sister named Kylene, goes on a quest to become the guardian of a secret healing Elixir. The Elixir Chronicles are like a wish in book form. A wish for more for my sister.

I’ve written about Kylene a bunch of times here on the blog (see “Still Mourning Kylene 20 Years Later”), and her too-short life continues to be a large influence on my writing. One of my works-in-progress is a picture book about a girl who loses her sister.

Mourning is a life-long process. Writing is one of the ways I try and make sense of this wonderfully complex thing we call life. Naturally, my feelings about Kylene come up a lot in my writing.

Yet, the Elixir Chronicles are fantasy quests with magic, whimsy, and adventure. There are deaths — particularly one in ELIXIR SAVED that is a bit devastating — but death and mourning aren’t main themes. The books are more about living. The characters are figuring out what kind of life they want to live and trying to put that into action.

In that way, it’s like giving Kylene — albeit a fictional one — a second chance at life. Second chances are a main theme of ELIXIR SAVED. Yup, these books are big wishes that I know won’t come true. But it still felt good to write them, even when the writing was incredibly hard at times.

The ebook of ELIXIR BOUND is currently on sale for $1.99. It’s part of the Narratess Indie Sale, which officially kicks off tomorrow. There are over 370 fantasy, sci-fi, and horror book by indie authors and publishers on sale or even free.

The “Skin and Bones” inspiration behind GRAMMY’S HALLOWEEN SCARE

The next book in the Family Holiday Tales series GRAMMY’S HALLOWEEN SCARE is out in the world! Once again, illustrator Phoebe Cho has created an atmospheric setting for characters that pop off the page. We get new characters in Grammy and her black cat Jellybean, but we also get the return of a bunch of spooky kids who you might recognize from the other books in the series. Grammy’s tale is the culmination of many things I love with Halloween, witches, and crows all making an appearance.

GRAMMY’S HALLOWEEN SCARE can be found at AmazonBarnes & NobleBookshop.org, and Kobo. It took a surprising amount of research to make this book come together, so here’s the story of what inspired me to write it.

A witchy page from the book THE BEDTIME KNIGHT, written by Katie L. Carroll and illustrated by Erika Baird.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Anyone who’s ready my middle grade novel WITCH TEST knows I have a soft spot for witches. A “witch” even makes an appearance in my picture book THE BEDTIME KNIGHT.

When it came time to figure out what holiday I wanted to highlight for the third Family Holiday Tales book, I wanted to do something other than Christmas, so Halloween was the obvious next choice for me. I’d already featured a mom and a dad in the other books in the series. A grandparent was a logical next choice, and a witchy grandma felt like a no-brainer!

I also had to figure out what I would use as the rhythmic inspiration for the book. MOMMY’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS is based off the famous poem by Clement C. Moore “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and DADDY’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS can be sung to the tune of the classic Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” For my witchy grandma, there wasn’t anything obvious that came to mind. It also had to be something that was in the public domain.

Then I remembered this song I used to sing in music class around Halloween time. It started with kids singing, “There was an old woman all skin and bones, ooo-ooo-oo-ooo.” It end with a deep-voiced “boo!” for a jump scare. A quick search, and I found the musical version from when I was a kid. There was no YouTube back then, so we didn’t have a video to go with the music.

I loved that silly, slightly scary song. A little more research led me to the book SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK by Alvin Schwartz and illustrated by Stephen Gammell. Those books terrified me as a kid…in a way that I loved! The book version (below as performed in the audiobook by George S. Irving ) was even more disturbing than the one I used to sing. It also gave me the important clue that it was from an old folk song.

Even more research led to me to more versions of the song, each one seemingly more disturbing than the last! The different recordings of the song were simply haunting (see “Skin and Bones” sung by Jean Ritchie and scroll down for this unknown singer performing “Skin and Bones”). I wasn’t able to trace the exact origin of the song, but my research showed it was certainly old enough to be safe to use as inspiration for my book.

GRAMMY’S HALLOWEEN SCARE is more fun than scary. It can be sung to the tune of the song I grew up singing, and I included sheet music with my lyrics in the front of the book. I’ve done a couple of read-alouds of the book, and the young audiences have loved singing along on the “ooo-ooo-ooo” part. Here’s a video of me singing the book!

Mommy’s Night Before Christmas $.99 ebook Deal!

I’ve got an early Christmas present for you…the ebook of Mommy’s Night Before Christmas is $.99 from now until December 22! You can find it on my Purchase Books page, Amazon, Kobo and Google Play.

As I try and get the house ready for the holiday, I’ve really been relating to the line, “The house was a mess, the laundry never-ending…” Also, a certain Elf is back, and if you’ve read the book, you know how I feel about him!

Readers’ Favorite gave Mommy’s Night Before Christmas this lovely 5-star review.

Mommy’s Night Before Christmas (Family Christmas Tales) by Katie L. Carroll is an endearing children’s picture book story that is also very appealing to adults. In fact, some children might recognize themselves a bit in the story, along with some parents who find that they can relate to the rhyming storyline. The illustrations created by Phoebe Cho have a lovely rustic quality, utilizing some colors that are a bit more subdued and relaxing, while others include a shock of red that reminds you it’s very much the Christmas time of year. It also appears that a mixture of mediums is used at some points, which draws your eyes in even more.

Katie L. Carroll’s Mommy’s Night Before Christmas (Family Christmas Tales) pulled at every heartstring in my chest…. It most definitely has an adult perspective to it, but children will still enjoy it and might even learn from the story itself by trying to improve their behavior for their parents. This would be an excellent Christmas gift for any child or parent that you know who may need a little bit of laughter and wish to read a great story.

Erin Nicole Cochran for Readers’ Favorite

Don’t forget that Daddy’s 12 Days of Christmas, the latest book in the family Holiday Tales series, is also available. Purchase signed copies on the Purchase Books page, or get it from AmazonBarnes & NobleBookshop.orgKobo, or Google Books.

On the first day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
A gift waiting under the tree…

In this heartfelt take on the classic Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” Daddy receives a special gift from his children. But that’s not all he gets! From sweet Christmas cookies to frozen fingers while sledding, the kids “gift” Daddy twelve days of Christmas he will never forget.

Sing along with this family of two dads and five kids as they create special Christmas memories. A celebration of love and families of all kinds, Daddy’s 12 Days of Christmas is the perfect holiday gift or stocking stuffer.

I’m currently working on the third book in the Holiday Family Tales series. It’s not a Christmas book, getting it ready to send of to illustrator Phoebe Cho. Any idea as to what holiday we’ll be celebrating in it (and what family member will be featured)? Let me know your guesses in the comments!

How Long Did It Take to Write the First Lines of the Picture Book DADDY’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS?

My latest picture book DADDY’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, illustrated by Phoebe Cho, releases today! Seeing it out in the world has reminded me how long it took me to write the first lines.

I’ve had people express the sentiment that writing picture books must be “easier” than writing novels because picture books are short. I wonder if these same people think that poetry is easy to write. Have they ever tried writing a poem or a picture book? Do they know what makes a poem or a picture book an effective piece of literature?

The months I spent writing and rewriting the first lines of this book would indicate it’s not easier. The months my critique partners spent hashing over different versions of these lines would also indicate that writing picture books is not easier than writing novels.

One of the things that made the first lines so tricky was that DADDY’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is a play on the classic carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” So that meant I had an existing meter and rhythm to adhere to for the book. While it can be helpful to have a framework, there’s also the pressure to match it correctly.

As I’m sure most of you know, the first part of the song is:
On the first day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

The first part was simple enough to modify to fit my story:
On the first day of Christmas,
My children gave to me

It was the that last part that gave me such a hard time. I knew what I wanted to say, something about a gift under the tree, but how to say it proved more difficult than I imagined. One thing that tripped me up was singing the line and speaking the line are slightly different experiences. Picture books are usually spoken aloud, not sung, and I wanted the line to work both ways.

The other thing that tripped me up is that I’m not very good at hearing poetic meter (which syllables are stressed and unstressed). Sometimes I just can’t tell which syllables in a word or a line are read with emphasis and which are the “quiet” ones.

Just like in the song, these first lines are repeated throughout the book, so I knew I had to get them right. I knew my first attempt didn’t quite work, but I couldn’t pinpoint a solution. That’s where my critique partners came in. First of all, they let me know the line wasn’t working, but, more importantly, they let me know why the line wasn’t working. The meter was off.

I tried saying the line out loud. I tried singing the line. I counted the number of syllables over and over again to make sure I had the correct number. I sent them several more attempts at the line. None of them were right.

Then they so very graciously started tweaking my lines and offering up other suggestions. Writing it was truly a group effort. The result is deceptively simple sounding, but it works in the way I wanted to (I think!?).

Even now, I’m singing it in my head and judging it. Usually this is the part of the post where I ask what you think. But in this case, I’d rather not know. The line is out there, so I prefer to stay in my bubble of believing it works. As for what that gift is, you’ll have to read the book to find out.

The lesson here is shorter ≠ easier, and perhaps ignorance is bliss. And also, find yourself good critique partners!

DADDY’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is the second book in the Family Holiday Tales. Daddy receives a special gift from his children, but that’s not all he gets. From sweet Christmas cookies to frozen fingers while sledding, the kids “gift” Daddy twelve days of Christmas he will never forget. Sing along with this family of two dads and five kids as they create special Christmas memories in a celebration of love and families of all kinds.

Purchase signed copies on my Purchase Books page, or find it on AmazonBarnes & NobleBookshop.org, or Kobo.

« Older posts

© 2024 Katie L. Carroll

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑