Category: Confessions of an Author (Page 2 of 2)

Confessions of an Author: Creative Gap

January 13, 2014 / Katie L. Carroll

Confession #7: The creative gap that exists between what an author imagines in her head and what ends up on the paper inevitably leads to a certain level of failure.

As a writer, I have certain images, ideas, nuances, themes, characters (and any number of other things) in my head when I create a piece of writing. It’s not that I necessarily have a set agenda–this is especially true when drafting and the story and characters are still taking shape–it’s more that I have a clear vision for a piece. I wouldn’t call it a message (because who wants to read a message-heavy piece of writing)…for a lack of a better way to describe it, let’s call it a creative vision.

Inevitably, the words I use to try and achieve my creative vision never quite live up to what I see in my imagination. This has nothing to with my ability as a writer; it’s more a failure of the medium of the written word. Writers have to rely on words to paint a physical and emotional landscape for a reader. We create not only worlds and characters, but ideas and feelings that need to come alive through words because a reader can’t see into a writer’s head.

Even now, trying to explain this creative gap is a frustratingly futile attempt. The words you read here are not exactly what is going on in my head. There is a creative gap between my brain and what you’re reading.

English users even try to steal words from other languages to help overcome the creative gap. A word like “umami”, taken from the Japanese, is roughly a pleasant savory taste (tomatoes are said to possess this quality), but really it’s a taste or sensation that can’t really be expressed in our language.

Then there are words that are so complex and subject to a person’s individual experiences and emotions. Success. Peace. Love. A writer can use these words, but has no control over how a reader will interpret it. Words are simply an inadequate form of communication sometimes.

And this creative gap isn’t unique to writers; it crosses all types of creative media. Films, though more visual, lack in different areas than books. When watching a film, a viewer can’t be in a character’s head and hear his/her direct thoughts (except for the occasional voice over). Artists can paint or draw what they see in their head, but there is no commentary to go with it. A person looking at a painting has to draw his/her own emotional context out of it.

So what’s a writer or creative person to do? Give up because our creative vision will never be fulfilled. Create a failure and despair over it. Nope! We accept that the creative gap exists and use all the tools we possess to convey our creative vision to the best of our ability.

Because something magical happens when our (inadequate) words are read. The creative gap works in reverse. Readers brings their own creative visions to the writer’s words. And they fill the gap, not as the writer would have filled it, but with their own imaginations.

In the end, the creative gap does not create a failure, but a piece of work that is unique to each individual who consumes it. A work that is full of images, ideas, nuances, themes, characters (and any number of things) the creator never could have imagined. And that is certainly a wonderful exchange.

Confessions of an Author: Daydreaming

July 2, 2013 / Katie L. Carroll

Confession #6: When I’m staring out the window daydreaming (or doing any number of things that might look like time-wasters), I’m actually working.

I’ve been trying to get out of the house one morning a week to head to my local coffee shop. I order my tea and breakfast and settle down in my usual spot looking out the window. At any point during my writing session, you’re likely to find me staring at the people walking by on the sidewalk or the train chugging over the bridge. This isn’t me procrastinating; it’s me working.

Seriously, though, daydreaming is work for an author. There is actual scientific research that says that daydreaming is important, imperative even, to the creative process. Allowing the conscience mind to wander sends the subconscious mind to work on the problem (in my case, whatever story/character/language issue I’ve been obsessing over). I’ve mentioned on the blog before how my brain often works out tricky plot points in the shower, while I’m not even necessarily thinking about that story or writing in general.

Activating the creative process goes beyond daydreaming for an author. People-watching is another activity that may look like procrastination, but it’s actually great story fodder. I find people-watching gets me thinking about character, not only how a character might look, but their mannerisms, speech patterns, and their backstory.

Observation of any surrounding is great for the “What If” game. Pick a person and pose a what-if question about them. Take two teenage girls walking around a mall, one chatting away, the other checking her phone, barely paying attention to the first. Give them a what if: What if chatty girl is dating a boy, but her boyfriend is the one texting phone girl? Now that leads to a whole bunch of other questions. What is boyfriend texting phone girl about? A surprise party for chatty girl, a secret rendezvous with phone girl? How long have boyfriend and chatty girl been dating? How long have chatty girl and phone girl been friends? See what a little people-watching and “What If” game can do for getting the creative juices flowing.

For an author, reading is work too. Whether I’m reading to stay current on the book market, reading to absorb the excellent writing of authors I admire, or reading to see what kind of books out there are like mine and what I can do differently. Even when I’m reading for pure pleasure, I’m still working, though it’s more of a working by osmosis in that case.

What things do you do that may seem like goofing off but are really work?

Confessions of an Author: Ideas

April 26, 2013 / Katie L. Carroll

Business first: I’m over at author extraordinaire Kai Strand’s blog today with a character interview of Katora, the main character from Elixir Bound.

Confession #5: I have more ideas than I’ll ever be able to write.

Seriously, though, I’m not even sure where most of my ideas come from. I’ve mentioned this before, but often ideas (or solutions to plot problems) just pop into my head while I’m in the shower. Or maybe I’ll see some random person at the mall or the playground or wherever and *poof* I’ll have a new character with a backstory and goals and conflicts.

While watching the Oscars this year (and admittedly feeling tired in general and very bored with the whole awards/skit thing), my next Great Big Idea appeared. The idea took my obsession with physics (you know how I love black holes and the Large Hadron Collider) and gave it a character. There isn’t quite a fleshed out plot yet, but the character is very clear to me now. Before this moment (literally a very brief moment…no idea one minute, a great idea the next) I only had an intellectual interest in something, and now I have a real, solid character.

Not all my ideas are great either. Some pop into my head and fade away. Some I might think about for awhile and eventually jot down or even work on fleshing out a bit, but they don’t really come together. One of the reasons I don’t like to write my ideas on paper when they first come to me is because I have so many ideas. I know the ones that stay with me, the ones I can’t stop thinking about, are the ones that are good fodder for a story.

I’m not really sure exactly what parts need to come together to make this magic happen. I’ve always been a creative thinker, so part of it may just be my mind is always working in the background, synthesizing input and my thoughts while I’m doing other things. Part of it, too, is because I’m open to new ideas because it’s those Shiny New Ideas are what keep me excited about writing.

Writing a first draft of a novel is tough, revising a novel is tough, editing a novel is tough…the ideas are the fun part…they’re the things that give me the rush of adrenaline, that make me push through a tough middle when drafting, a tough scene when revising, or line edits (which are just plain boring).

So I’m afraid I can’t share what makes me a creative person or where my ideas come from…because I really have no idea. But there are people who know about creativity, who study it. The good news is recent research indicates you can train your brain to be more creative. I’m not sure I’ll be partaking in any of those exercises, though. I just don’t think my brain can handle any more Big Ideas right now!

Confessions of an Author: Rejection

February 8, 2013 / Katie L. Carroll

Confession #4: Rejection might be the one thing that makes me quit this whole business of publishing.

Rejection. It’s something every author faces time and time again. It’s fear inducing, debilitating, soul sucking.

I think for most authors the writing journey begins in a blissful place. Inspiration strikes. You decide, I’m a writer…or at the very least, I’m going to write something worthy of publication. You write, and write, and write. Probably a lot of bad stuff, but you’re not aware of how bad it is; in your blissful ignorance, you keep going. Maybe even stumble upon some good writing.

You begin sending your work out, probably before it’s really ready for mass consumption. But again, you’re ignorance keeps a buffer around you. Publishers reject you. No worries! They don’t know what they’re doing; they just passed up on the next J.K. Rowling. They’ll regret it one day. Maybe one rejection has some encouraging words. That’s the thing you latch on to. The ego of the innocent feeds off of it.

Then reality hits. You realize, maybe my work’s not that good. I need to actually…ahem…revise! Those people who rejected you might actually know what they’re talking about. Still, you persevere. Okay, rookie mistakes. Buck up and keep improving.

You work, work, work at creating, honing, revising. Your writing benefits from all the hard work. Maybe you join a critique group, get some positive feedback and productive criticism. You begin to thrive as a creative person. You feel like your work is actually ready for mass consumption…and just maybe others will think so too.

With your improved knowledge of writing, you realize it’s a good idea to study up on the business side of publishing as well. You learn how to write an effective query, target your submissions, what your looking for in an editor or agent. You check and double check that you’ve spelled all the names right, that the grammar in your letter is perfect, you have the right sample pages included. You hit send (or if you’re doing it the old-school way, apply the correct postage).

Now comes the waiting. The incessant checking of emails/mailboxes. The nail-biting. Commiserating with writer friends over the process of having stuff out there. Then the rejections start rolling in. You try to focus on a new project. Keep your mind off the hole your email inbox is burning in you brain.

Your stomach is in a constant state of queasiness. You starve yourself, too sick to eat, and then gorge yourself on chocolate and caffeine. More rejections roll in. Time limits pass, and you get rejected by query expiration date, no reply required.

Sure a lot of good stuff happens along the way. Meeting other writers, forming great working relationships and personal ones you keep forever. A few close calls with a dream agent or editor. But there’s still so much rejection.

Even if you land a publishing contract, it might not be what you were always hoping for. You sign with a small press or decide to self-publish or get a low advance. Maybe you did land a great contract, but then the big reviewers don’t like your book or ignored it all together. Maybe your sales fall short of expectations; you don’t reach as many readers as you hoped. Your option book doesn’t get picked up.

Rejection, rejection, rejection. The old death by a million paper cuts (and you don’t even use real paper to write anymore!). And it hurts. Gives you days where you’re not sure if you can keep going, deluding yourself into thinking you can make it as a writer. Keeps you from revising because it’s just going to be crap anyway, no matter how much you work at it.

I guess a lot of writers don’t even make it to this point. They gave up back a handful of paragraphs ago after the first rejections. What keeps you going? Your love of a character, the way you can escape into a world you’ve created, an insatiable need to succeed, the fact that you’re a glutton for punishment.

Whatever it is, you keep going. Right…it’s worth it to keep going? The punch in the stomach with that email that sends you into a downward spiral. “Thanks for thinking of us, but we’re going to have to pass on that manuscript you’ve spend months, years, decades working on. The one that you poured your soul into. The one that has blood marks on it from where your heart leaked all over it. Yup, that one. It’s not good enough for us. Don’t worry, publishing is a subjective business. It’s not personal.”

Yet every single one of those rejections is personal to you. The story you wrote is deeply personal. You maybe even put more work into that than you did into your own life.

So what do you do when you’ve traveled down every single path you could find and came up with dead ends? Well, I guess you start over. Get a spark of inspiration. Feel the tingle of a new story…of hope…in your fingertips. And you do it all over again. Right, you do it all over again. You’re a writer. That’s what you do.

What kinds of rejections have you faced in your writing career? And what keeps you going back for more?

Confessions of an Author: Grammar

October 23, 2012 / Katie L. Carroll

Confession #1: I don’t always use proper grammar.

When someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m just as likely to say “I’m good” as “I’m well.” Saying “I’m well” sounds funny, and frankly, a bit pretentious. I don’t need to flaunt the fact that I know the grammatical way to answer the question is “I’m well.” I’m an author, not a snob. Besides, my brain’s default answer is “I’m good” and idle chitchat hardly warrants more than a default answer.

There are lots of other instances when I don’t speak proper grammar as well. In fact, I probably speak improperly as often as I do properly. It takes way too long to formulate a well-constructed sentence; if I had to speak grammatically correct all the time, I’d never end up contributing to the conversation.

I also text/tweet (okay, I don’t actually tweet, but if I did…)/post on Facebook/casually e-mail with incorrect grammar and even crazy text speak. (Don’t all gasp at once!)

Why don’t I use proper grammar? You might think it’s because I don’t want to intimidate others with my superior grammar knowledge. The truth is just because I’m an author (and admittedly an editor), doesn’t mean I even know proper grammar. “Who” or “whom,” “lying” or “laying.” I don’t know! And when I do need to know, I look it up.

Not to mention the fact that if I did keep my grammarian hat on all the time, I’d probably go crazy. Have you seen some of the terrible grammar there is out there in the world? It’s astonishing!

So the next time you are talking to an author or reading a nonprofessional e-mail from an author friend of yours, don’t assume everything they offer will be grammatically perfect. Authors are people too, and we can’t be expected to always know the grammatically correct thing to say (or write). That’s what we have editors for!

Author-extraordinaire Katie L. Carroll has been disproving (and sometimes confirming) the myths of legends of being an author since 2012.