Category: Anecdote (Page 28 of 31)

So That’s What Milk Looks Like: A Short Rant

July 27, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

I’ve been known to go on the occasional rant, and it’s been awhile since I’ve gone on one (well at least on this blog anyway). That means I feel the need (no, not “the need, the need for speed”—five stars to the first person to name that movie!) to vent a little. Here goes:

I don’t watch my local news stations very often, but the few times I have caught their riveting stories of late, I’ve noticed their stellar use of visual aids. One news reporter was standing in front of a court house talking about a local case. To sum up the report, he said the court papers had been filed and held up a stack of white papers. Oh, so that’s what court papers look like. My life is now complete since I’ve seen a shot of those papers.

And just yesterday, I watched a news report about how children aren’t getting enough vitamin D. Again when the reporter (a different one from the one mentioned above) was summing up his report, he noted that drinking milk is one way to increase vitamin D and held up a half-gallon of milk. Finally, someone has shown me what milk looks like. I never would have known otherwise.

Apparently I missed the memo that said any old visual, no matter how pointless, should be used. I always thought—and I was a CLA (kind of like a TA, but with fewer responsibilities) for a introductory level communications class in college—that visual aids should somehow enhance the presentation. But that’s just me…I guess those TV guys think otherwise!

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumber-er Jokes

July 14, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

The hubby, my brother, and I were watching TV the other evening when the hubby made a joke (many of our jokes revolve around the shtick of one person saying something like “That’s stupid” and the other person saying “You’re stupid”). Later my brother made a pretty bad joke and the hubby said, “That was even dumber than my joke.”

I quickly said to the hubby, “Hah! You just called your joke dumb.” My brother responded (and this is so typical for the two of them to gang up on me!), “Not necessarily.”

That got me thinking…which always means trouble. I argued that in order for joke B (the bro’s) to be dumber than joke A (the hubby’s), joke A has to be dumb as well. In grammar terms, that means there has to be the positive (definition 20)—dumb, tall, beautiful—in order for there to be a comparative (definition 4)—dumber, taller, more beautiful.

Of course, the hubby and bro decided that I was wrong. My brother said, “So does that mean the statement ‘You are dumber than Bill Gates’ says that Bill Gates is dumb?” I said, “Yes.” Just like it doesn’t make sense to say “My brother is smarter than a pencil” because the pencil really doesn’t possess any qualities of smartness, it wouldn’t make sense to say someone is dumber than Bill Gates if Bill Gates doesn’t possess some quality of dumbness.

Now it might make sense to say “My brother is sharper than a pencil,” which at least makes more sense because—although in a punny way—the pencil and my brother both possess qualities of sharpness. Yet, it isn’t really that simple, but we’ll get back to that later.

The boys continued to argue for their point, and the debate really just went in circles for awhile. I think I may have eventually convinced them that from a purist point of view, there really should be a positive in order for there to also be a comparative, but in the real world, it’s just not practical to interpret a comparative statement that way.

For example, a guy says, “That chick is way hotter than that butt-ugly one.” From my argument, he’s saying that the butt-ugly chick is on some level hot, which is not at all what he meant to say. Unless, and this is the real sticky point in this whole thing, you take into account the negative side of the positive.

I know, how convoluted can we get here? But stick with me because I think my brother has an interesting point (and, oh, how I hate to admit that). Can the opposite of the positive (dumb versus smart or hot versus ugly) be considered on the same scale? In that case, you could say someone is dumber than Bill Gates and not have Bill Gates be dumb at all. Instead of the positive of dumb, Bill Gates would be the negative of dumb (i.e. smart) and the comparative would still work.

Definitely something to think about! And for all of you brave souls who made it to the end of this post, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Strawberries Are the Perfect Bite of Summer

June 23, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

The taste of summer is a sweet Popsicle, the way it sticks to your tongue for just a moment before it melts and the juices slip down your throat. Maybe even better than that is the glug of an ice-cold beer pouring from the can, its bubbles tickling your tongue and throat. Even better still is a perfectly cooked hot dog right off the grill, blackened just enough so that it crunches as you bite into its hot, juicy meat.

But hands down, without a doubt, better than all of those treats (no matter how you personally rate them) is the strawberry, and not just any strawberry. I’m talking the perfect strawberry picked with your very own hands from a picturesque field on a sunny hill. The strawberry that was so plump and red you slipped it into your mouth before you even thought of dropping it into the bucket with the others.

In that first bite, you taste the sun-kissed sweetness. The flavor explodes in your mouth and you think Oh, forgive me, strawberry, for ever cooking you or putting you in the refrigerator. I’ll never again taint you with pies, ice cream, or cake. Then the tang bites your tongue. Taste buds you forgot you had wake up and scream in pleasure and you think This is better than…(I’ll let you fill in the blank). Mmmmm…oh, sorry, I think I was drooling a little.

I had just such a strawberry the other day at Jones Family Farm. My husband and I had gone on one of our pick-your-own excursions (we also do this with apples at Bishop’s Orchard in the fall and of course with the veggies in our own garden all summer long). There’s nothing like harvesting your own food and serving it to those you love.

Also at the farm was one little girl who I’m sure understands the camaraderie offered by this activity (although she may not experience the taste of the strawberry in quite the same way as an adult). I don’t know her real name, but I affectionately refer to her as Olivia in my head.

She was picking strawberries with her mom and they were in a row next to a woman who was probably a little bit older than the mom. Olivia chatted with the older woman in the frank manner of a friendly little kid. The woman finished picking and said good-bye. She made it a few rows away before Olivia spoke in a voice as sweet and perfect as the strawberries themselves, “Enjoy your strawberries.” Enjoy, indeed!

Finding the Chicken Hawk

May 25, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

My husband may be handsome, but he has a nickname that reveals more about his personality than his looks: Chicken Hawk (after the little chicken hawk from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons).

Some of his co-workers gave him this nickname, but it made sense to me on several levels. I seem to have an affinity for chickens. I was moved by a particular video about hatchery chicks and “Money for Nothing” was my favorite song as a kid (I used to sing chickens instead of chicks!).Just the other day my mother found this stuffed animal that she said was my favorite when I was really little, like under three years old. I’ll leave you with a picture of it (I don’t think I need to point out how much it resembles the Chicken Hawk…even though I just did!!!).

Adventures at the Baltimore Orioles Game

May 18, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

Highlights from my first day in Baltimore include catching up with my sister, watching my nephew (the 9-year-old) chase after cars that potentially held Yankee players, getting a ball signed by Andy Pettitte, seeing A-Rod whack a home run off the first ball pitched to him in 2009, and listening to a couple of old ladies chatter away while paying very little attention to the baseball game.

So these ladies were at the game with their husbands. I’m not sure if they had ever been to a baseball game, but they did have some astute observations. For one, they noticed that some of the K’s that were posted on the scoreboard were forwards and some were backwards. They didn’t know what the K’s meant (one of their husbands explained that a K was posted for each strikeout the home team’s picture recorded), but they thought it was nice that some were backwards so the scoreboard didn’t ever show three forward K’s.

(Not that I disagreed about it being nice that there was never three forward K’s in a row, but that’s not the real reason why some of the K’s were backwards. A forward K indicates the batter struck out swinging, and a backward K indicates the batter struck out looking.)

They also noticed how cute some of the baseball players are (hello, Derek Jeter!!!). No arguments there. At one point they asked me if my nephew was my brother, which my nephew found pretty hilarious. I wanted to say to them, “Didn’t you notice my nephew calling my sister ‘Mom’? If I was his sister that would make her my mom as well…not really feasible!”

Then towards the end of the game, they called my husband “the best looking fella” in the stadium, and they also said that they “may be old, but they can still look.” My nephew again found all of this pretty hilarious, so the ladies turned their attention to him. “But you’ll give him a run for his money in a few years. You have beautiful eyes.”

I guess it’s not so bad having the same taste in men as a couple of old ladies. They’ve seen a lot, so they probably have good taste, right? (Let’s hope so for my husband’s sake.)