Books for kids, teens, & those who are young at heart

Category: Anecdote (Page 14 of 30)

The Emptiness of a Full Mind

Lately my mind has been so full of million things that when I do have some free time, I can’t actually get anything done except maybe sitting in front of the TV and watching reruns.

I mean, it’s these little guys that take up so much of my brain power, so a worthy trade off, but some days it’s hard not to be hard on myself. The evenings are especially unproductive. By the time feedings and baths are done and the boys are settled down for the night, I’m wiped. And there’s pretty much always laundry to be done and other stuff.

My mind is full of feeding schedules, lists of things I need to get done that keep getting put off by more important things that need to get done, and little voices saying things like, “I need you, Mommy.” My arms are full of kiddos hands and dirty diapers (hopefully not at the same time), my shirt is usually full of breast milk and spit up, and my diet is full of, well, junk because so much effort goes into making sure everyone else eats right that it’s hard for me to do so.

I’m not really complaining…I mean, I signed up for this whole being-a-mom thing. It’s just with all this fullness, I’m also feeling oddly empty. There’s this sort of blankness or haze around everything in moments of quiet. Perhaps my brain has been wired for a slightly chaotic state and it doesn’t know what to do with any stillness. Maybe it’s just fatigue.

Anyway, I’m off to go stare blankly into space for a few minutes before I try to tackle another thing on my list.

It’s Okay to Miss Things

It’s too easy to get caught up in what I call the Infinite Loop, which I’ve blogged about in the past (here and a similar guest post here). Basically the Infinite Loop is a cycle of online checking that just keeps cycling back to the beginning.

For example, I’ll be on the Internet to check my personal email account, then I’ll check my email account I use for the blog and author correspondence, then my editor email, then I’ll check in on Facebook and Twitter, maybe then I’ll check my website stats for the day and reply to comments on my blog, then my Twitter account might ping and I’ll go check to see what’s going on there again, and so on and so forth. By the time I’ve gone through all my checks so much time has passed, I’ll have to start all over again, and by then I’m so stuck in the Infinite Loop, I’m like a hamster running in one of those wheels who’s never gonna get out.

Part of the reason why it’s so hard to get out is because I’m so connected all the time with my phone, which is pretty much never turned off these days. It’s so convenient not to have to turn on my laptop just to check my email, but it’s ON All THE TIME! And I usually boot up my laptop when I have an hour or two when the boys nap in the afternoon. I’ll have all the best intentions of going on to write, but then I decide “just to check my email” and BAM, three hours have gone by and The Boy is up from his nap needing attention and The Prince needs to be nursed.

I’m a work-at-home mom who writes and edits, i.e. I’m home with just the kiddos all day and it’s often hard to feel connected to the outside, adult world. The Internet is great for that, but you gotta set some limits. There are all kinds of things you can do to keep from getting stuck in the Infinite Loop for too long from the simple set-a-timer and then sign off to programs that block your Internet connection for a set amount of time.

But I’m not really interested in discussing that right now. What I really want to talk about is why I get stuck in the Loop. I think I’ve pinned it down to not wanting to miss anything. The Internet is such a wide, awesome resource for connecting. I don’t want to miss that latest interesting or important news bit, I don’t want to miss that so-and-so agent is having a pitch contest, I don’t want to miss that cutie little picture of my friend’s daughter.

Here’s the rub, though. If I don’t choose to disconnect and miss those “important” Internet things, I’m going to miss out on a lot more. I’m going to miss having some real down time for myself, I’m going to miss important writing time, I’m going to miss important reading time, I’m going to miss letting my brain wander free without stimulation, I might even miss a precious moment or two with the kiddos.

So right here, right now I’m going to give myself permission to miss stuff on the Internet. If the news is really worth hearing, I’ll eventually hear it. There is always some kind of pitching contest going on, and besides, I can always query my next project without any kind of contest. That friend with the cutie daughter posts plenty of pictures, so missing a few won’t be a big deal.

And I’m going to give you permission as well. Don’t feel like you have to answer every email as it comes in; don’t let yourself be constantly be bombarded by your Twitter feed; heck, I’ll even say don’t read my blog unless you feel really compelled to and have the time. Because if we don’t step away from the keyboard or smartphone, step out of the Infinite Loop, and allow ourselves to miss all those wonderful (and admittedly often dumb) things on the Internet, then we’re gonna miss out an awful lot on real life. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to give up my real life for a virtual one.

Still Grounding Myself Every Day

I’ve got lots of writerly things going on lately (still working my YA thriller BLACK BUTTERFLY, my follow up to ELIXIR BOUND called ELIXIR SAVED, and my chapter for the Great CT Caper) and I got my first editing assignment post baby. Seems I’m really getting back into the swing of things now that The Prince is almost four months old (yikes…the time does fly!).

The year anniversary of my grounding experiment–basically my quest to put my bare feet on the earth every day in attempt to help with stress, overall mood, energy, and such–passed by some time in August with little notice or fanfare. The last update I did on this was December, and I’ve been going strong ever since.

I missed some days, especially over the long, cold, snowy winter we had, but I got out in the bad weather more than I expected. Plus I was pregnant for a good part of the experiment, which I thought might make it harder, but it really wasn’t much of a hindrance. As a bonus once the weather got warmer, The Boy showed interest in grounding himself, too, so he’s been joining me from time to time. And my mom started doing it as well, so we’ve been comparing notes and keeping each other accountable.

IMAG1125

Thinking back on my year of grounding, I’ve noticed several parallels to being a writer. You have setbacks, like missing days for reasons both in your control and out of your control; you feel bad/guilty after these setbacks; it’s helpful to have others hold you accountable to help you get it done; when you lose consistency in your task, it’s hard to get back to it, but it’s never too late to get back to it, and it might be hard at first but it will get easier after the initial push; and it’s important not to beat yourself up too much when you fail, as long as you get back on the horse as soon as you can.

I’ve learned some helpful tips along the way. In cold weather, wear your cold weather gear outside even if you’re just going out to ground. Don’t go out in the snow with just a sweatshirt and sandals. First of all you’ll freeze. Second of all it diminishes the affect somehow. After I stripped off my boots in socks, stuck my feet in my little patch of grass surrounded by feet of snow, and put my socks and boots back on, my feet felt awesome, like I was walking on clouds.

Make it part of your routine. I often ground when I go out to get the mail because I do this almost every day. Don’t worry about what others think. My neighbors must have seen me with my pregnant belly and bare feet on the cold ground and thought, “There’s that nutso lady again out there with her feet in the snow.” If you miss a few days, don’t stress about it; the whole idea is not to stress. Just get back to it when you can.

IMAG1303

And finally, mix it up once in awhile: ground in the sand or some other place than grass, or do it at a friend’s house or while on vacation (of course making sure it’s safe to do it wherever you are, and there aren’t say fire ants or animal droppings around), or do it with a friend.

So I guess you’re all wondering if it’s working. It’s hard to say definitively that it’s working or not. I’ve had a particularly stressful, exciting, wonderful year. I’ve had the most challenging year with The Boy since he was born, a new baby to take care of, and lots of upheaval with work being done on the house. I wish I had more patience with The Boy in particular and yell at him more than I’d like to. I get crabby for no reason (being pregnant and now breastfeeding make for some fun hormonal emotions) and take it out on my husband. So on the surface you might say it isn’t working.

But I think it is. I can feel the tension leaving my body often when I ground myself, and this feeling is particularly strong when I’ve missed a day or two or when the weather was cold and I wasn’t outside as much. It’s kind of like a tingling that stops after a minute or two, and is similar to the calming feeling I get when I hold The Prince on my chest while he sleeps, only the feeling is in my feet instead of my chest. So, yeah, for that alone it’s worth it.

IMAG1449

And given all the stress and worry and mixed emotions I’ve had over the last year, I’d say I’m emotional handling myself better than I might have been if I wasn’t grounding. Some times all I have to do is think about grounding when I’m in a stressful situation and it helps to calm me…and maybe that is more a mind over matter thing than the physical affects of grounding, but whatever works, right?

The other thing I like about it is that it’s a pretty simple, straightforward, achievable goal, and one that doesn’t have any dire consequences if I fail. I like having an item to check of my list that’s so easy to do, and it’s one that gets me outdoors, and it’s an interesting talking point, and it might just be helping my overall well-being and health.

So after a year my year of grounding, I have no plans to stop. I’ll keep going out there and putting my bare feet to the ground, I’ll miss days and maybe feel guilty or maybe not, I’ll keep my reputation in the neighborhood as an eccentric lady, and hopefully I’ll feel better for it and will be a better mom, person, and writer for it.

ELIXIR BOUND Book Blitz Sign Up

Hi all! I’ve got a lot going on right now. We had The Boy’s third birthday last week and his birthday party over the long weekend. We went to the zoo, just me and him, the morning of his birthday and had ice cream cake that evening. Pretty low key.

For his party, I made him a fire engine birthday cake (thankfully I bought a cake pan that made the job a little bit easier) and cake pops, which took a good chunk of time. Somehow we ended up having like 30+ people at the party, so it was fun but a big time suck for me. Not so much low key.

In writing news, I have a short poem coming out in Highlights HIGH FIVE magazine. It’s a tough market to break into, so I was super excited to get an acceptance. And I have big news coming on Monday about a fun, collaborative project I’m working on to be released next year.

I’ve also been gearing up for a big promotional push for ELIXIR BOUND. The ebook will be on sale and the paperback will be up on Goodreads for a giveaway, both happening September 14th-28th. I’m currently organizing a big book blitz (and hopefully releasing the book trailer as well…if the creator of my trailer–my brother–can get his you-know-what together!). I’d love if any bloggers who have some space between the 14th and 27th could sign up.

Here’s the sign up link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1JPEek1w3PPHuGNpX3XNCV24uF9tHhqep2GvJ6zQMYTo/viewform

So what have you all been up to?

Embarking on a New Writing Venture

The Observation Desk (which you may not know is the official name of my blog) has changed a lot since I first started it back in May of 2008. First of all, I was still on blogger back then and it was more of a personal journal than anything else. I wasn’t always consistent on posting either.

Since I moved to a full WordPress site in June of 2012, the Observation Desk has definitely moved in the direction of being a place for other writers to come and share their thoughts and experiences in addition to my personal journal. I try to keep a nice balance of the two with one of my posts early in the week and one guest post later in the week. I’ve really enjoyed my couple of blog series: Confessions of an Author and Females in YA.

Even after six years of blogging, I’m never sure how personal to get on my posts, but I’ve found that some of my most personal posts have gotten the most response (in both number of hits and in comments). Notably my post called “How Does a Mother’s Love Grow?”, which voiced my fears about having a second child, was terrifying to publish and so uplifting when people wrote nice messages to me in response. And, of course, any time I’ve had big writing news, you all have always responded so kindly to those posts.

So what’s with all this reflection about the blog and when am I going to finally get to the point of the new writing venture that this post title so directly mentions? (Whenever I ramble in a blog post, I always think about THE CATCHER IN THE RYE and how Holden had that speaking class and yelling out “digression” whenever someone got off topic.) Anyway, enough digressing…to the point…

Since becoming a mother, I find I have the urge to write about it. Often just little things come to me during the day. And these thoughts feel significant to me and I feel the need to record them. But I’m not much for keeping a physical journal and writing by hand, well, bothers my hand. But this blog doesn’t feel like the right place for these little thoughts either. It’s not that I don’t mind talking about being a mom here (you all know I do that here), but I save my more long-winded thoughts for here.

The more I thought about my desire, which has quickly become a need, to express these little things, the more I realized I needed an easy and quick way to do it. Because I want to do it frequently when the mood strikes and I don’t always want to have to haul out my laptop because, frankly, some days there just isn’t time for that. And when I do haul out my laptop, I want to be able to write and not have to take all my little thoughts and record them.

“Digression!” No, really, all this blabbering is on topic, I swear. So I’ve decided that Tumblr is a good place for these motherly thoughts. I plan on keeping them short, almost poetic in nature. No need for full sentences or even much coherence (which is in short supply when you have little ones). I chose the Tumblr blogging format because it’s well suited for snippets and I think it will be easy to access and update from my phone (which will be key in me posting often on it). I’m not sure if I’ll be able to post daily, but maybe almost daily…we’ll see how it goes.

I’m calling it Observation Mommy and the link is http://katielcarroll.tumblr.com/. My first post will be on Wednesday because that’s The Boy’s third birthday and I thought this was a good milestone to start on. I hope some of you will check it out and visit frequently. Of course I’ll still be posting some motherly thoughts, and the adorableness that is pictures of my sons, on occasion here. But I think this new blog will satisfy that craving I’ve had for more writing about parenthood and kids in a manageable way.

Stayed tuned for more writerly news coming soon as well. I’ve got a fun new collaborative project I’m involved in and will announce that soon. Yay! Any good news for you all?

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2026 Katie L. Carroll

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑