Category: Anecdote (Page 12 of 31)

November Ripples in the Inkwell: Where Did My Memory Go?

November 9, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

November’s Ink Ripples topic is remembrance/thankfulness, and I’m taking up the latter for my post this month. I have a really good memory, at least I did until I had kids. I had heard that being a mom messes with your ability to remember stuff, but man, I didn’t expect it to mess with me so badly.

I am now the type of person who needs to keep lists in order to remember anything, like anything at all. And all those precious moments of the kiddos that at the time I thought I could never, ever forget…yeah, if I don’t have a picture of it or if I didn’t write it down, it’s gone…forever!

I’m not sure what it is about motherhood that has fried my brain. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Maybe it’s because I primarily hang out with little ones who have the attention span of, well, a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old and it’s rubbing off on me. Maybe it’s that I’m now keeping track of two other people and have to remember all their stuff for them.

Did so-and-so go to the bathroom lately? Did we brush teeth this morning? Who needs to get dressed today (probably me!)? Is it bath night? Who has a doctor appointment this month? And now that The Boy is in school, there are a whole slew of other things to keep track of. Pretty much the only thing we never forget is eating. No one forgets to eat around here!

I’m told that eventually my brain will regain its former glory of being able to remember something for more than five seconds. I’m skeptical but hopeful…

Wait, what was I talking about again?

Inkwell meme green Have you joined the #inkripples movement yet? Ripples in the Inkwell is a monthly meme created by Kai Strand, Mary Waibel, and Katie L. Carroll(me!). On the second Monday of each month, we post on a particular topic. The idea is that we toss a word, idea, or image into the inkwell and each post is a new ripple. There’s no wrong way to do it and we’d love for you to participate (full details here). Be sure to provide a link to your own #inkripple in the comments! Look for details on next year’s ink ripples topics in December!

Happy Halloween!

October 30, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

Tomorrow is Halloween, so happy early Halloween! There will be lots of dressing up and candy eating at my house this weekend. (Okay, there’s already been some candy eating – I’m in the middle of big edit and need my chocolate – and I’m wearing my Gryffindor sweatpants as I type this, so let’s say there will be more than usual candy eating and dressing up this weekend!)

We’ll be heading to my sister’s house for trick-or-treating. She had two adorable kiddos close in age to mine, so that means twice the adorableness. The Boy is being a firefighter this year, and the Prince will be sporting a tiger costume. Leaving you with pics of the boys on their first Halloweens (looking startlingly similar) and asking how you all are celebrating.

The Prince last year!

The Boy on his first Halloween!

October Ripples in the Inkwell: Anxiety Dreams #inkripples

October 12, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

For our October Ripples in the Inkwell (#inkripples) Kai Strand, Mary Waibel, and I are discussing fear/things that go bump in the night. My mind immediately went to nightmares.

It is well-known among my friends and families that I have very vivid, often wacky dreams. I’ve even been lucky enough to have the occasional lucid dream (in which you are aware you are dreaming, and may actually be able to take control of the dream…pretty cool actually, and I always end up flying when I can!). That also means I’m subject to realistic, terrifying nightmares.

I’m more prone to having nightmares when I’m feeling anxiety and stress. A couple of common stress dreams I experience with some regularity are the one where I show up for the final test of a class I haven’t been to all year and the one where my teeth fall out or crack.

More likely than those two dreams, though, is a recurring anxiety dream that has changed throughout the years. When I was very young, I can remember having lots of dreams about wolves chasing me, and I would wake up sweating, my heart racing. At some point during my adolescent the go-to stress dream turned into dinosaurs stalking me (one reason why, to this day, I have a hard time watching any of the Jurassic Park movies).

After The Boy was born, my anxiety dreams were often about the end of the world. Usually they would start with me seeing something strange in the sky and then aliens would strike or there would be some kind of widespread terrorist attack, and I’d be trying to protect my family.

And lately, my nightmares have taken the form of zombies (you won’t catch me watching The Walking Dead ever!). What’s interesting about these dreams is that the zombies don’t get a lot of “screen time.” It’s more the constant threat of a zombie attack that causes the panic.

Aren’t you so glad to have a glimpse into my dreams? What kinds of nightmares have you all had?

Have you joined the #inkripples movement yet? Ripples in the Inkwell is a monthly meme created by Kai Strand, Mary Waibel, and Katie L. Carroll(me!). On the second Monday of each month, we post on a particular topic. The idea is that we toss a word, idea, or image into the inkwell and each post is a new ripple. There’s no wrong way to do it and we’d love for you to participate (full details here). October is all about fears and things that go bump in the night. Be sure to provide a link to your own #inkripple in the comments!

No Matter How You Do The Math, Death Just Doesn’t Add Up

August 2, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

Today would have been my sister Kylene’s 30th birthday. She died when she was 16, so it’s hard to even imagine what she would have been like at 30. We – her family and friends – all knew Kylene the girl and were just beginning to get a glimpse of the woman she was becoming.

Ky Model Kylene the girl loved to sing and act. She played the flute and was a multi-sport athlete. She worked hard at school and was a honor student. And Ky was kind, and so very giving. I think she worried a lot about things, too. As a toddler, she was prone to tantrums, and never did lose her flair for the dramatic. Kylene was also a devoted Girl Scout, and she was on her way to earning her Gold Award (the highest achievement in Girl Scouts). She loved the Harry Potter books (though she only lived to read the first four) and shared them with everyone, and I mean everyone, making many a reluctant reader into an avid one.

We used to go to the beach and play volleyball with our friends, cranking up the music (usually Fuel) on the way. We played soccer, basketball, and track together for that one year we were both in high school together. I used to jump down from my top bunk and into her bottom bunk when I got scared at night. She never made fun of me for it, never even would mention it to me the next day. She used to wear my underwear when they would accidentally end up in her pile, much to my disgust.

The truth is Kylene was so many things, more than I can ever write about, more than I ever even knew about. I knew her as my often annoying little sister. At 16 and 19, respectively, she and I were really just learning how to be friends outside of the sister realm. I think we would have become best friends as adults. But she will always be 16 going on 17.

This year on her 30th birthday, I can’t help but think about how pretty soon she will have been gone as long as she was here.

My mind gets all twisted up over the fact that my oldest nephew turned 16 this year, so he’s been alive almost as long as his Auntie Ky was. He seems so young; he is so young. How could Kylene have only been alive an equally short amount of time? Her influence on my life seems far more profound than could possibly have happened in 16 years.

I’ve already lived more than two of her lives. My great grandmother at age 96 died two years to the day after my sister. She lived 6 of Kylene’s lives.

For some reason, this year I keep thinking about all these numbers. I think it’s the way the logical side of my brain is still trying to make sense of my sister’s death. The truth is, the numbers are just numbers, and no amount of calculating will make it make sense.

The creative part of my brain wrote a whole book trying to make sense of my sister’s death. That helped me mourn Ky and it helped me heal, but it didn’t make the death of a 16-year-old make sense. Nothing can.

So today (and most days) I think of her. And today on her birthday I memorialize her. I remember how she made me laugh and cry, how I wanted both hit her and protect her (not usually at the same time), how I tried to explain to her how to be more like me and how she was always herself anyway, how I try now to be more like her: empathetic, caring, kind.

I think about how The Boy’s temperament reminds me so much of her at times, and it helps me understand him better. See, Kylene is still teaching me and inspiring me to be a better person, even though she’s been gone for so long. She will never meet my kids, but she is part of their lives all the same.

She is my sister, and I miss her…always. So let’s all raise a glass to my sister. Happy birthday, Ky!

Gearing Up for a Noncommittal Summer

May 29, 2015 / Katie L. Carroll

This time last year I was preparing for the arrival of The Prince with plans to spend the summer enjoying my two boys and adjusting to life as a mom of two. Now looking forward to this summer, I have that strange feeling of not believing how quickly time has gone but also feeling like it’s been a long year.

In a couple of weeks, we’ll be kicking off summer a little early with The Prince’s first birthday party at my parents’ house. My birthday (a special milestone one if I were a hobbit) falls in the middle of summer, but no big parties scheduled for me. Fast forward to the end of August and we’ll be unofficially ending the summer with The Boy’s fourth birthday party, probably also at my parents’ house.

So what do I plan on sandwiching in between those two big events (besides celebrating/crying over getting another year older)? Hopefully lots of summer fun: beach days, playing in the yard with the boys, grounding myself every day, day trips with the family…that kind of stuff.

The first half of the year has been full of author events (all told I’ve probably done more author events in the last six months than in all my previous years combined) and I’ve got three more planned for June (check out my homepage for details), so I’d like to slow down a bit for the summer. Iced tea in the afternoon, wine in the evening, feet in the sand, and read a book for pleasure kind of slowing down.

I’m so very close to completing a good draft of my WIP, so I’ll be devoting some time to revising once I get my beta feedback and a little break from said WIP post-drafting. Maybe I’ll start drafting a new book…or maybe not. I think I’ll see where the winds take me on that one. I may need a break in order to refill the creative well.

I’d also like to pay attention to one aspect of my life I’ve been woefully neglectful of: namely, getting in shape. I’ve been slowly acclimating my mind to the idea of maybe getting back into running, and I might try working with a personal trainer and seeing if I like it. Not sure about going back to playing soccer. I’ll see how I feel after I’m in better shape.

Overall, I’m in the mood to be very noncommittal about things. Before long those boys of mine will be off running all over the place without me, so I’m trying to be more in the moment and enjoy them while they’re little (even through the hard times of them being little).

I’m thinking of running old posts here for most of the summer, and probably not too many guest posts. Keep things simple…yeah, that sounds real nice. What are your plans for the summer?