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So That’s What Milk Looks Like: A Short Rant

July 27, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

I’ve been known to go on the occasional rant, and it’s been awhile since I’ve gone on one (well at least on this blog anyway). That means I feel the need (no, not “the need, the need for speed”—five stars to the first person to name that movie!) to vent a little. Here goes:

I don’t watch my local news stations very often, but the few times I have caught their riveting stories of late, I’ve noticed their stellar use of visual aids. One news reporter was standing in front of a court house talking about a local case. To sum up the report, he said the court papers had been filed and held up a stack of white papers. Oh, so that’s what court papers look like. My life is now complete since I’ve seen a shot of those papers.

And just yesterday, I watched a news report about how children aren’t getting enough vitamin D. Again when the reporter (a different one from the one mentioned above) was summing up his report, he noted that drinking milk is one way to increase vitamin D and held up a half-gallon of milk. Finally, someone has shown me what milk looks like. I never would have known otherwise.

Apparently I missed the memo that said any old visual, no matter how pointless, should be used. I always thought—and I was a CLA (kind of like a TA, but with fewer responsibilities) for a introductory level communications class in college—that visual aids should somehow enhance the presentation. But that’s just me…I guess those TV guys think otherwise!

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumber-er Jokes

July 14, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

The hubby, my brother, and I were watching TV the other evening when the hubby made a joke (many of our jokes revolve around the shtick of one person saying something like “That’s stupid” and the other person saying “You’re stupid”). Later my brother made a pretty bad joke and the hubby said, “That was even dumber than my joke.”

I quickly said to the hubby, “Hah! You just called your joke dumb.” My brother responded (and this is so typical for the two of them to gang up on me!), “Not necessarily.”

That got me thinking…which always means trouble. I argued that in order for joke B (the bro’s) to be dumber than joke A (the hubby’s), joke A has to be dumb as well. In grammar terms, that means there has to be the positive (definition 20)—dumb, tall, beautiful—in order for there to be a comparative (definition 4)—dumber, taller, more beautiful.

Of course, the hubby and bro decided that I was wrong. My brother said, “So does that mean the statement ‘You are dumber than Bill Gates’ says that Bill Gates is dumb?” I said, “Yes.” Just like it doesn’t make sense to say “My brother is smarter than a pencil” because the pencil really doesn’t possess any qualities of smartness, it wouldn’t make sense to say someone is dumber than Bill Gates if Bill Gates doesn’t possess some quality of dumbness.

Now it might make sense to say “My brother is sharper than a pencil,” which at least makes more sense because—although in a punny way—the pencil and my brother both possess qualities of sharpness. Yet, it isn’t really that simple, but we’ll get back to that later.

The boys continued to argue for their point, and the debate really just went in circles for awhile. I think I may have eventually convinced them that from a purist point of view, there really should be a positive in order for there to also be a comparative, but in the real world, it’s just not practical to interpret a comparative statement that way.

For example, a guy says, “That chick is way hotter than that butt-ugly one.” From my argument, he’s saying that the butt-ugly chick is on some level hot, which is not at all what he meant to say. Unless, and this is the real sticky point in this whole thing, you take into account the negative side of the positive.

I know, how convoluted can we get here? But stick with me because I think my brother has an interesting point (and, oh, how I hate to admit that). Can the opposite of the positive (dumb versus smart or hot versus ugly) be considered on the same scale? In that case, you could say someone is dumber than Bill Gates and not have Bill Gates be dumb at all. Instead of the positive of dumb, Bill Gates would be the negative of dumb (i.e. smart) and the comparative would still work.

Definitely something to think about! And for all of you brave souls who made it to the end of this post, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

I Asked Author Cindy Pon a Questions and She Answered

July 2, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

I’ve made an Internet appearance again! This time in print form and not picture form. I posed this question (it’s the first one listed) after reading Cindy Pon’s YA fantasy book Silver Phoenix, and she chose to answer it in vlog form.

Here’s a bit more about the book and a link to Cindy’s contest (I selfishly posted these so I could be entered twice into her contest! Her artwork is awesome!).

I’ll finish by stealing a question that Cindy always asks her guest authors: Who is your favorite literary crush? Check out the comments to see mine.

Strawberries Are the Perfect Bite of Summer

June 23, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

The taste of summer is a sweet Popsicle, the way it sticks to your tongue for just a moment before it melts and the juices slip down your throat. Maybe even better than that is the glug of an ice-cold beer pouring from the can, its bubbles tickling your tongue and throat. Even better still is a perfectly cooked hot dog right off the grill, blackened just enough so that it crunches as you bite into its hot, juicy meat.

But hands down, without a doubt, better than all of those treats (no matter how you personally rate them) is the strawberry, and not just any strawberry. I’m talking the perfect strawberry picked with your very own hands from a picturesque field on a sunny hill. The strawberry that was so plump and red you slipped it into your mouth before you even thought of dropping it into the bucket with the others.

In that first bite, you taste the sun-kissed sweetness. The flavor explodes in your mouth and you think Oh, forgive me, strawberry, for ever cooking you or putting you in the refrigerator. I’ll never again taint you with pies, ice cream, or cake. Then the tang bites your tongue. Taste buds you forgot you had wake up and scream in pleasure and you think This is better than…(I’ll let you fill in the blank). Mmmmm…oh, sorry, I think I was drooling a little.

I had just such a strawberry the other day at Jones Family Farm. My husband and I had gone on one of our pick-your-own excursions (we also do this with apples at Bishop’s Orchard in the fall and of course with the veggies in our own garden all summer long). There’s nothing like harvesting your own food and serving it to those you love.

Also at the farm was one little girl who I’m sure understands the camaraderie offered by this activity (although she may not experience the taste of the strawberry in quite the same way as an adult). I don’t know her real name, but I affectionately refer to her as Olivia in my head.

She was picking strawberries with her mom and they were in a row next to a woman who was probably a little bit older than the mom. Olivia chatted with the older woman in the frank manner of a friendly little kid. The woman finished picking and said good-bye. She made it a few rows away before Olivia spoke in a voice as sweet and perfect as the strawberries themselves, “Enjoy your strawberries.” Enjoy, indeed!

Running in the Land of the Midnight Sun

June 16, 2009 / Katie L. Carroll

The summer solstice rolls in on June 21st, ushering in the warmest days of the year (at least for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). This is the longest day of the year, which when looking at the symbolic meaning of lightness and darkness, means we are truly approaching the high point of the year.

My father once said that the summer solstice always makes him want to jump in a car and follow the sun north to see how long the day will last. My sister and I sort of did this one year. We actually hopped on a plane—not the one we were hoping to get on, but that’s a story for another day—and headed north…first to Seattle (which we weren’t supposed to go to) and then finally to Anchorage, Alaska.

We were there to run the Mayor’s Midnight Sun Marathon (find our results here…look in the 5:06 range). We raised over $11,500 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thanks in large part to sponsorship by William B. Meyer, the man and the company.

We have many, many, many stories, adventures, and pictures (which are all from the pre-digital age, so they have to be scanned in before they make it on this blog) from our marathon training and that trip. You may read about it in our memoir Loose Bowels & Butt Chap (see comments). Oh wait, it’s not yet published…okay, it’s not even written yet. This is a good start, though.