Author: Katie L. Carroll (Page 141 of 143)

Risque Party Magnetic Poetry

July 14, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

The magnetic poetry kit was a big hit at the party I hosted this weekend. Apparently the lack of punctuation didn’t bother my intoxicated friends. Alas there was no “pleasure pickle,” but both words did make an appearance. Just a quick disclaimer: These quotes get a bit graphic, so anyone with a sensitive stomach–or with any sensibilities at all–may want to refrain from reading further! I kept the space between magnets even when they made one word because some of the combinations are particularly creative.

If you are brave enough to persevere:

“bleed that perfect thought puppet” (ummm…eww, I think?)

“manipulate a precious chicken beneath old skeleton” (double eww)

“sweet steam y fire y sex” (sounds good to me–as long as it’s in the figurative sense)

“dance with green angel” (oddly sweet, although it did kind of remind of me Slimer from Ghostbusters)

“my love life is curse d” (so sad, but given the other phrases not terribly surprising)

“obedient famous people suck money” (what about those disobedient famous people?)

“play & drink but never sleep” (an apt description of my party!)

“imagine me between random girl s spurt ing” (hopefully the random girls are of age)

“I desire a hot naked good bald woman to come on” (who doesn’t?)

“she always eat s my pleasure monkey then howl s” (that’s just like her, isn’t it?)

“expose tremendous bosom & ache ing pickle” (oh, if only I had a tremendous bosom)

“explore another man bone in he r mouth” (really, no thanks…I’m all set)

I did leave out one that used the word “prostitute” because I felt it might be too offensive (I know, it must’ve been pretty bad given what I did include!). Oh, and I swear I didn’t make any of these up myself…this is really what is on my refrigerator right now. I’ll have to remember to rearrange the magnets before my nine-year-old nephew comes over!

A New Perspective on the Classic Van Gogh Painting SUNFLOWERS

July 10, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

Tomorrow I’m going to see a special Vincent Van Gogh exhibit at the Yale Art Gallery that features two of his most famous paintings, Cypresses and The Starry Night. Van Gogh happens to be my favorite artist.

The last time I saw a Van Gogh painting in person was in London’s National Gallery (yup, we’re back to London). I didn’t have high expectations when I first went there because I tend to prefer Van Gogh’s night and tree paintings to his sunflower ones, and the featured painting there is a still life of sunflowers in a vase, aptly called Sunflowers.

On my first visit to the gallery, Sunflowers had been moved from its usual spot to where the temporary exhibits usually are; that means it was stuck downstairs in the corner of the building. This area is different than the rest of the gallery because the rooms are much smaller and the walls are all painted with bright or dark colors–colours if you’re from London–instead of the typical beige.

The gallery was very busy that day. I squeezed my way into the tiny room with the painting. Temporary ropes had been set up all around the bottom edge of the wall so you couldn’t get close enough to touch the paintings. My first impression of Sunflowers was that it was…well…yellow. I got as close as I could in order to see the swirling brush strokes. Then I looked at it from one corner of the room, from the back center of the room, and finally the other corner of the room.

I left the Van Gogh room to check out some Monet paintings, and then came back for another look. My second impression was that it wasn’t as eye-catching as the painting A Wheatfield, with Cypresses. The blue-green swirls in the sky against the wheat-colored grass and the dark-green cypress trees really popped off the canvas. Sunflowers was still so…yellow.

Feeling very disappointed despite my low expectations, I went and found a bench so I could write about my experience. I was two rooms away from Sunflowers, but I caught a glimpse of it through the open doorways. This third, unexpected view was impressive. I actually think it really did take my breath away for a minute. The bright yellow background glowed as if the very sun shone in from behind. I’ve never seen paint take on such a life of its own. I didn’t even know paint could do that. Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

Then I noticed how all the people who went to look at Sunflowers got real close to it, like I had, only to walk away after a few minutes without a glance back. I wanted to stand on the bench and shout, “You’re looking at it all wrong! Come over here and look!” Naturally I didn’t do that. I wanted to be able to come back, and shouting in a gallery is a good way to get banned from it.

It took me more than three viewings and a two-room distance to see Sunflowers in the right light. All those people were looking but not really seeing it. I wondered what else I might have looked at only to see it from the wrong perspective. I sat and wrote and thought. Then a man came and sat next to me. He was there a few minutes before I glanced at him. Just as I did, he caught sight of the painting. His expression told me that he was having the same moment I had just had.

I couldn’t help myself; I had to say something to him. He thought I was a student (no surprise there), but it was great to share the experience. At least one other human in the whole gallery-of-oblivious-people got it. Oh well, their loss. I’m trying to keep my expectations low for the Yale exhibit–I hate being disappointed. I mean, how many unbelievable pieces of art can one guy paint? I’ll let you know!

Grammar Nerd Problems: Magnetic Poetry

June 19, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

I received one of those magnetic poetry kits as a gift some time ago. It’s basically these small white refrigerator magnets, each with a different word on it. Now, the package says it’s supposed to cure writer’s block, but I find the whole thing a bit unsettling. For one, it has words like “prostitute,” “sex,” and “naked.” And I can’t tell you how many times the phrase “pleasure pickle” has shown up on my refrigerator. True, all these words have their place in the great lexicon of American language, but they don’t exactly stimulate me to create thought provoking prose.

Far worse than the risqué vocabulary (which is really more hilarious than offensive) is that the kit has no punctuation. I know, I know…I’m such a dork. Hear me out, though. Language, grammar, and punctuation are far from the stupor inducing lessons you remember from school. Truth be told, I’ve learned most of English skills by reading, not by doing lessons. With the risk of revealing what a true nerd I am, I’ll admit that over the years I have grown to enjoy the intricacies of a well-crafted sentence (not necessarily a long sentence).

In order for someone to understand what you’re trying to write, you have to use all these elements correctly and with purpose. Take the title of one of my favorite grammar books Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Notice the difference between that and the less dramatic “eats shoots & leaves.” Are we talking about a crazy murderer or a cute little panda? (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I apologize for getting too writery on you! You can skip this and just reread the dirty words in the first paragraph!)

That brings me back to the word magnets. Without punctuation, I find it hard to put the words together in a way that makes sense. “Pleasure pickle” aside, I don’t want someone reading my fridge and getting the wrong idea! I want to create sentences that really mean something. Sentences that may even move people to laugh, cry, cringe, or yell. Who knows, one day my sentences might even inspire someone to get off the couch and do something better with her life.

The Waste of Beer Can Innovation

June 13, 2008 / Katie L. Carroll

The technology that has gone into beer containers of late is quite impressive. Coors seems to be the leader in the industry. They first came out with the wide-mouth beer can in 1996. Contrary to what I thought, it was not designed to allow for faster beer chugging, but was created to give drinkers an experience that was closer to drinking beer out of a glass. Go figure. I didn’t know people actually drank beer for the taste!

Earlier this year Coors introduced the venting beer can. You may have seen the commercial where a guy lets his girlfriend think that his buddy needs to emotionally vent when the guys really just want to pore over some vented beer cans (pun intended!). (I won’t even digress into the absurdity of commercials like that…please, don’t get me started). Like the wide-mouth can, this technology was designed to give the beer a smoother feel. Coors is also the company behind the temperature indicator on beer labels. Their signature Rocky Mountains turns from white to blue when the beer is cold enough to drink. So much for good-old common sense.

My favorite invention has to be the self-cooling beer can. This little beauty–created by a company called Tempra Technology–uses all kinds of scientific principles (vacuums, evaporation, gels, etc…) to give you the pleasure of a can that cools your beer to the perfect temperature in just three minutes. Finally, someone has found a way to save me all that time I spend waiting for my beer to cool. Maybe they’ll even put a little voice recorder on the can to tell me when it’s ready.

Don’t worry; all you have to do is twist the base of the can. Supposedly, it’s all environmentally friendly and won’t contaminate the flavor of the beer (again with the whole flavor thing). I even read that you can throw the can on a fire and it won’t explode! I know, what a disappointment.

Now, imagine if all this thought, creativity, and innovation were applied to something useful…say to reverse global warming or discover a new power source. Wow, we could solve all the world problems in no time! But really, who needs that…not when you have perfectly cold beer pouring out of a vented can in three minutes. Did I mention I was a wine drinker?