Books for kids, teens, & those who are young at heart

Author: Katie L. Carroll (Page 133 of 142)

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumber-er Jokes

The hubby, my brother, and I were watching TV the other evening when the hubby made a joke (many of our jokes revolve around the shtick of one person saying something like “That’s stupid” and the other person saying “You’re stupid”). Later my brother made a pretty bad joke and the hubby said, “That was even dumber than my joke.”

I quickly said to the hubby, “Hah! You just called your joke dumb.” My brother responded (and this is so typical for the two of them to gang up on me!), “Not necessarily.”

That got me thinking…which always means trouble. I argued that in order for joke B (the bro’s) to be dumber than joke A (the hubby’s), joke A has to be dumb as well. In grammar terms, that means there has to be the positive (definition 20)—dumb, tall, beautiful—in order for there to be a comparative (definition 4)—dumber, taller, more beautiful.

Of course, the hubby and bro decided that I was wrong. My brother said, “So does that mean the statement ‘You are dumber than Bill Gates’ says that Bill Gates is dumb?” I said, “Yes.” Just like it doesn’t make sense to say “My brother is smarter than a pencil” because the pencil really doesn’t possess any qualities of smartness, it wouldn’t make sense to say someone is dumber than Bill Gates if Bill Gates doesn’t possess some quality of dumbness.

Now it might make sense to say “My brother is sharper than a pencil,” which at least makes more sense because—although in a punny way—the pencil and my brother both possess qualities of sharpness. Yet, it isn’t really that simple, but we’ll get back to that later.

The boys continued to argue for their point, and the debate really just went in circles for awhile. I think I may have eventually convinced them that from a purist point of view, there really should be a positive in order for there to also be a comparative, but in the real world, it’s just not practical to interpret a comparative statement that way.

For example, a guy says, “That chick is way hotter than that butt-ugly one.” From my argument, he’s saying that the butt-ugly chick is on some level hot, which is not at all what he meant to say. Unless, and this is the real sticky point in this whole thing, you take into account the negative side of the positive.

I know, how convoluted can we get here? But stick with me because I think my brother has an interesting point (and, oh, how I hate to admit that). Can the opposite of the positive (dumb versus smart or hot versus ugly) be considered on the same scale? In that case, you could say someone is dumber than Bill Gates and not have Bill Gates be dumb at all. Instead of the positive of dumb, Bill Gates would be the negative of dumb (i.e. smart) and the comparative would still work.

Definitely something to think about! And for all of you brave souls who made it to the end of this post, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

I Asked Author Cindy Pon a Questions and She Answered

I’ve made an Internet appearance again! This time in print form and not picture form. I posed this question (it’s the first one listed) after reading Cindy Pon’s YA fantasy book Silver Phoenix, and she chose to answer it in vlog form.

Here’s a bit more about the book and a link to Cindy’s contest (I selfishly posted these so I could be entered twice into her contest! Her artwork is awesome!).

I’ll finish by stealing a question that Cindy always asks her guest authors: Who is your favorite literary crush? Check out the comments to see mine.

Strawberries Are the Perfect Bite of Summer

The taste of summer is a sweet Popsicle, the way it sticks to your tongue for just a moment before it melts and the juices slip down your throat. Maybe even better than that is the glug of an ice-cold beer pouring from the can, its bubbles tickling your tongue and throat. Even better still is a perfectly cooked hot dog right off the grill, blackened just enough so that it crunches as you bite into its hot, juicy meat.

But hands down, without a doubt, better than all of those treats (no matter how you personally rate them) is the strawberry, and not just any strawberry. I’m talking the perfect strawberry picked with your very own hands from a picturesque field on a sunny hill. The strawberry that was so plump and red you slipped it into your mouth before you even thought of dropping it into the bucket with the others.

In that first bite, you taste the sun-kissed sweetness. The flavor explodes in your mouth and you think Oh, forgive me, strawberry, for ever cooking you or putting you in the refrigerator. I’ll never again taint you with pies, ice cream, or cake. Then the tang bites your tongue. Taste buds you forgot you had wake up and scream in pleasure and you think This is better than…(I’ll let you fill in the blank). Mmmmm…oh, sorry, I think I was drooling a little.
I had just such a strawberry the other day at Jones Family Farm. My husband and I had gone on one of our pick-your-own excursions (we also do this with apples at Bishop’s Orchard in the fall and of course with the veggies in our own garden all summer long). There’s nothing like harvesting your own food and serving it to those you love.
Also at the farm was one little girl who I’m sure understands the camaraderie offered by this activity (although she may not experience the taste of the strawberry in quite the same way as an adult). I don’t know her real name, but I affectionately refer to her as Olivia in my head.
She was picking strawberries with her mom and they were in a row next to a woman who was probably a little bit older than the mom. Olivia chatted with the older woman in the frank manner of a friendly little kid. The woman finished picking and said good-bye. She made it a few rows away before Olivia spoke in a voice as sweet and perfect as the strawberries themselves, “Enjoy your strawberries.” Enjoy, indeed!

Running in the Land of the Midnight Sun

The summer solstice rolls in on June 21st, ushering in the warmest days of the year (at least for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). This is the longest day of the year, which when looking at the symbolic meaning of lightness and darkness, means we are truly approaching the high point of the year.

My father once said that the summer solstice always makes him want to jump in a car and follow the sun north to see how long the day will last. My sister and I sort of did this one year. We actually hopped on a plane—not the one we were hoping to get on, but that’s a story for another day—and headed north…first to Seattle (which we weren’t supposed to go to) and then finally to Anchorage, Alaska.

We were there to run the Mayor’s Midnight Sun Marathon (find our results here…look in the 5:06 range). We raised over $11,500 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thanks in large part to sponsorship by William B. Meyer, the man and the company.

We have many, many, many stories, adventures, and pictures (which are all from the pre-digital age, so they have to be scanned in before they make it on this blog) from our marathon training and that trip. You may read about it in our memoir Loose Bowels & Butt Chap (see comments). Oh wait, it’s not yet published…okay, it’s not even written yet. This is a good start, though.

Magnetic Poetry: Horse Names Edition

The running of 135th Kentucky Derby and the 134th Preakness Stakes, got me thinking about how horses get their names. The filly (you go girl!) who won the Preakness, Rachel Alexandra, has a normal enough name, but Mine That Bird is the name of the horse that won the Kentucky Derby. What exactly does Mine That Bird mean? (I feel like it must have some crazy subliminal message, but I just can’t quite figure it out.)

Some other Kentucky Derby winners include Burgoo King, Gallahadion, Tim Tam, and Lil E. Tee. It’s like they throw a bunch of two-year-olds in a room and show them pictures of pretty horseys and whatever comes out of the toddlers’ mouths becomes a horse’s name. (Actually, I take that back…I wouldn’t want to insult my two-year-old nephew, who is actually quite an eloquent speaker.)

In honor of the running of the 141st Belmont Stakes this Saturday, here’s a list of some horse names. Some of them I made up by randomly picking words from my magnetic poetry set and some are actually the names of horses running in the Belmont. Can you guess which is which?

  1. Light Heart
  2. Mr. Hot Stuff (Also a good name for a male stripper.)
  3. Full Rhythm
  4. Chocolate Candy (Very tasty.)
  5. Pickle Fight (I’m so naming my next cat this, just so I can call him P.F. for short…and if he ever gets lost, I can drive down the road shouting “Pickle! Oh, Pickle Fight, where are you!”)
  6. Flying Private (I think I saw this movie in the adults-only section at the movie rental place…not that I ever go into that section!)
  7. Memory
  8. Luv Gov (This sounds like a political scandal in the making.)
  9. Sour Thought Drink (Don’t try to order this at a bar…I promise you it won’t taste good!)
  10. Summer Bird (Call me crazy, but I would’ve thought this name would’ve been better for a parrot.)

Did you guess correctly? See the comments to find out. Oh, and my pick for the Belmont is Mine That Bird because I think his jockey, Calvin Borel, is going for his own kind of Triple Crown.

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